Journeys into the bright world

"Are the flowers selfish just because they are beautiful and want to be what they are?" Her voice sent me into further reflection. "This is obviously what your higher self is telling you," she went on, "that you need to be. You don't have to run around doing good for people all the time. You would probably do them more good if you could spend a little more time just being in the light." "Urn hum," was all I could say. I wanted to absorb every iota of this present moment.

Marcia left me to my meditations and to the time necessary to "come down to earth." As I did so, an overwhelming sense of release swept over me with a feeling of joy and freedom. I was elated. I was happy with myself.

The experience couldn't have been any further removed from what I had expected, and yet it was so much more. I have retained the feelings and the imagery. While I will not pretend that my own meditations have come close to resembling this adventure, the memories linger and frequently visit, assisting me in regaining reflection and release.

But most of all, the message has come through: It's okay to be me!

Lois Hagen

Lois Hagen is an attractive forty-three-year-old woman who wished to undergo the ketamine experience mainly because she likes to keep up with new developments on the metaphysical scene. This is a transcript of her first session. She was given twenty-five-milligram ketamine and then another twenty-five after ten minutes. Howard and Marcia remained in attendance while she spoke spontaneously of whatever came into her mind.

Lois. I want to go into the presence of God.

Marcia. We will just wait quietly and see what happens.

Lois. I am a part of everything… It's like I am floating and I am a part of everything. I feel but I don't feel. I'm here but I'm not here. (Long intervals of silence. Booster shot is given by Howard.) I hear the music and I hear your voice. I feel like I'm wrapped in a blanket. Just surrounded by a big white blanket. I am part of this room and yet I am not part of this room. Everything is very very soft. It's like I am wrapped in a big piece of plastic. It's so soft; I am just floating. I've never been more comfortable in my entire life. I have never experienced such peace. I feel as though I am being drawn into a big tunnel. I smell incense. I am wrapped in foam. My heart is beating fast. I know what I am but I don't know where I am. Everything is white, soft, like being wrapped in foam. I feel like I am floating. I see white. I am above the sofa. I am very large; you are very large; we are all very large. We are moving very slowly, but we know what we are doing. We are very methodically moving. Am I out of my body? I feel so large. I feel like I'm talking but I'm not talking. Its the strangest feeling…so easy. I want to learn to move easily.

Marcia. You are learning that now.

Lois. You are on my right; you are my guide. Will you bring me to Jesus?

Marcia. We can do that if you wish.

Lois. I want to see Jesus. I love Jesus. I gave my life for Jesus. I died for Jesus. I loved Jesus so much. I gave up my whole life for him. If I could see him one more time…(Here Lois was referring to certain partially remembered experiences of former incarnations.)

Marcia. Look for him.

Lois. Will you be my guide?

Marcia. Yes.

Lois. I want to tell him how much I love him. (Tears start to flow.) I cannot see him.

Marcia. Can you feel him?

Lois. I can feel but I cannot see him. I want to see him. I feel like I'm in a cocoon. I'm lying in this cocoon. Would you like me to go out of the cocoon?

Marcia. Only if you're ready.

Lois. I didn't see Jesus. I want to see Jesus. I gave my whole life for him. I feel so restful. May I go back again? Will you be my guide?

Marcia. Yes, you will see him when you are ready.

Lois. I will see him next time. Oh, I'm so warm, so comfortable. The room is starting to take shape. I see curtains, the wall… Am I in my body or out of my body? I seem to be both. Things are kind of settling. You are an excellent guide. You are like a pilot. My husband is a pilot. You are an excellent pilot. I am lying on something so soft. Gold, white, it is beautiful. And you are my pilot. It's like we are in a giant spaceship. And you are guiding me through the celestial stars.

Marcia. That's how it's meant to be.

Lois. (Aware that Marcia was taking notes.) Why do pilots write?

Marcia. They keep a log book-to help them navigate.

Lois. I'm not here yet.

Marcia. I don't want you to hurry. Hold on to the feeling.