Kept Women Can’t Quit

She opened her purse, took out a wallet, extracted a picture, handed it to me.

“What color hair?”

“Dark.”

“Eyes?”

“Blue.”

“Weight?”

“A hundred and seventy.”

“Height?”

“Six feet, even.”

“Age?”

“Twenty-nine.”

“Disposition?”

“It varies.”

“Emotional?”

“Yes.”

“Have you been married before?” I asked.

“If it’s any of your business, yes.”

“How many times?”

“Twice.”

“Had he been married before?”

“Once.”

“You’re quite a dish,” I said, looking her over.

She said, “Am I really?” She ran her hands over her curves. “Why,” she said in exaggerated surprise, “thank you for telling me, Mr. Lam. I hadn’t noticed.”

I said, “We don’t have time for wisecracks or sarcasm. You’re a dish.”

“All right, I’m a dish, so what?”

“Your husband didn’t leave you unless he had something especially attractive. Who was it?”

“Wasn’t the dough enough?”

I shook my head. “Quit stalling. Who’s the other girl?”

“Evelyn Ellis.”

“Now then,” I said, “if you tell me Evelyn works at the Full Dinner Pail, I’ll have heard everything.”

“But she does,” she said. “That’s where my husband met her.”

I put the five hundred dollars in my pocket. “Okay,” I said, “this is where I came in.”

Elsie Brand grabbed my arm. “Please don’t, Donald.”

I said, “It’s an occupational hazard, Elsie.”

Hazel Downer was immediately suspicious. “What’s a hazard? What are you two signaling about?”

I said, “Never mind that. Describe Evelyn.”

“Red-head, wide innocent-looking blue eyes, twenty-three, a hundred and seventeen pounds; thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six.”

“What’s she got you haven’t got?”

“She didn’t ask me to be present when my husband was taking inventory.”

“You seem to be pretty familiar with the dimensions.”

“Why not? She had everything published when she was Miss American Hardware at the Hardware Dealers’ Convention last year.”

“What was she doing in hardware?”

“She wasn’t in hardware. She was a bookkeeper for an importing company.”

“What was she doing as a car hop?”

“That was after the hardware. She was looking for impressionable men who had, or could get, money. She found Standley. She’s retired now.”

“You have any idea where they are now?”

“If I did I wouldn’t be paying you.”

“What am I to do if and when I find them?”

“Just tell me.”

I turned to Elsie. “After I leave, wait three minutes,” I said. “Open the door a crack to see if anyone’s in the corridor. If the coast is clear, go back to the office. If Bertha wants to know anything, act like a clam.”

I swung back to face Hazel Downer. “You follow Elsie out,” I said. “Take the elevator to the main floor. Go down the block to the big department store. The ladies’ room has two entrances. Go in one and out the other. Be sure you aren’t followed.

“Every day at noon leave your apartment. Try not to be followed. Go to a pay phone booth and call Elsie in my office. Make your voice as harsh as you can. Say this is Abigail Smythe and tell Elsie to be sure the last name is spelled with a y and an e and where is the deadbeat you married I’m supposed to be locating for you.

“Elsie will tell you where to meet me if I have anything new. When you dial the number, be sure no one is watching.

“You got all that straight?”

She nodded.

I opened the door and walked out.

Sergeant Sellers was halfway down the corridor coming toward me.

“It takes you a long time,” he said.

“Bertha’s time,” I pointed out. “That’s the only way I can get even with her. Thank you for your interest in what I do.”

“Where you going now?”

“Out.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“Sure thing. Come along.”

He rode down in the elevator with me.

“I wouldn’t want you to get any ideas,” he said. “Remember, smart guy, I’m going to bust this case wide open. Do you get me? I’m going to bust it wide open.”

“That’s nice,” I said.

“I don’t need any help.”

“I know,” I told him. “In the bright lexicon of youth there is no such word as fail.”

“What the hell’s a lexicon?” he asked.

“A Greek dictionary,” I told him.

“Someday,” he told me, “you’re going to get hurt.”

“I’ve already been hurt.”

“Worse,” he said.

I saw him looking at the cigar stand.

“Come on down the block with me,” I said. “There’s a good-looking blonde at the cigar counter down there. I’m going to shake dice with her for the cigars. I’ll give you a couple.”

“You and your women,” he said.

“You and your cigars,” I told him.

He walked along with me. I stuck the house for cigars. I gave him half. I hated to contribute them but I couldn’t afford to have him see Hazel Downer when she left the building. Sometimes you have to give the other guy the breaks.

Chapter 2

The public relations counsel who had engineered publicity for the National Hardware Association was Jasper Diggs Calhoun. Everything about his offices was arranged to impress visitors with the idea that they were entering the presence of a DYNAMIC PERSONALITY.

The attractive secretary, with lots of curves showing through a tight-fitting dress, had an expression of demure innocence on her face which had been carefully cultivated. It made her look as though she had no idea the curves were showing.