Kinky Confessions

“You remember the other night?” I said. “With the lipstick and Polaroids?”

“How could I forget?”

“Remember how you said it was so much sexier in your head? Well, life’s like that too. It’s always simpler in your head.”

“You can say that again.”

“You and I have an unconventional relationship. It seems simple in your head, but it’s not. It’s also new, especially to you, but to me too. I grew up expecting to have a relationship like my parents’. That might not work for us.”

“Then what’re we supposed to do? I love your parents. Mine too, don’t get me wrong, but… I don’t want to be like them either. Especially now that I know there’s something different.”

“You might be surprised. I mean, you and your mother have the same metabolism, right? Maybe the same libido too?”

“No. Absolutely not.”

I did my best to suppress Mr. Skeptical Eyebrow, but she saw me holding back.

“My mother is a good Catholic, not some… sex fiend.”

“Who says she can’t be both? After all, she had six children. And you

said it yourself, she makes little innuendos all the time.”

“But… she can’t be like me. I’m a freak. The black sheep of the family.

The weird one.”

“Are you sure about that? The apple fell far from the tree?”

“Stop messing with my head.”

“I’m not messing with your head,” I said gently. “I’m just making you…

question your assumptions.”

“Well, I don’t like it,” she grumped.

“Look,” I said after a moment, “all I’m saying is that you aren’t that different from your parents. You’re most like your mom, but sometimes you’re so much like your dad that I want to salute and call you ‘sir.’”

She glared, but without any real anger.

“And it’s okay to be like them. It’s okay to be your own woman, too.

They raised you to use the brains God gave you.”

“I know,” she said eventually. “I just feel guilty for how happy I am. And sometimes I think I shouldn’t be.”

“Guilty or happy?”

“Both?”

I snorted a laugh.

“I told you, I’m pretty mixed-up.”

“We all are. Lucky for us—”

“—we’re mixed-up the same way.”

We shared a smile and then fell silent. I glanced at the navigation radios and took the plane off autopilot to begin our descent into Elkins.

“Thank you for loving me,” Christy said. “And for being patient. And for putting up with my crazy doubts and fears.”

“All part of the package. But they aren’t crazy. They’re pretty normal.” I waited a moment to let that sink in. Then I ventured, “Do you mind if I ask what started all this? I mean, something to do with you and Wren.”

“You probably figured it out.”

“You had sex with her and were feeling guilty?”

“You know me so well.”

“You wanna tell me about it? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but… now I’m curious.”

“It wasn’t anything special. Well, it was, but you know what I mean. It wasn’t special-special, like the Polaroids or the things we do at the inn. It was just… the usual.” She glanced at me sideways to judge my reaction.

When I didn’t explode, she continued, “She’s been bugging me since we got back from Tahoe. At first I put her off because you and I had just moved in together. Then because we’ve all been so busy with school and stuff.

Also… ’cause I sort of felt like I needed to ask your permission or something.”

I shook my head.

“Now it seems silly, but at the time…?”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“Anyway, we sort of celebrated after I finished the sketches and her maquette. You were at judo and Trip was in class, and… one thing led to another.”

“Makes sense.”

“And then I’ve been sketching Delilah for the past week. She’s so beautiful and open about her body that I kinda think about… you know. And oh my gosh, Paul! Some of my fantasies would make the letters in Penthouse seem tame. I get the sense that she’s like me, but I can’t come right out and ask her. So I get all worked up and…” She shot me a glance.

“Wren and I’ve been meeting in Siobhan’s office after Delilah leaves,”

she admitted. “There’s a couch there, and we… um… you know.” She jumped when I burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“Trip thought she was working late on her honors thesis.”

“Yeah, that’s what she said. And I let you think I was sketching Delilah. I sort of was, but… not really. I guess that means I lied to you.”

“A lie by omission, although not really. I never asked. I just assumed.”

“So… you aren’t upset?”

“No. Well, maybe a little, but only ’cause you felt guilty about it. I understand why you did, though. You’re still figuring out how this works.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever figure it out. It’s all so confusing. And I can’t talk to Marianne about it.”

“Maybe you could talk to Erin. Or Leah.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that. She’s… so intimidating.”

“Who? Leah?” I shot her a glance. “Intimidating? She’s one of the nicest

—”

“No, not like that. It’s just that she’s so beautiful and exotic and—”

I chuckled. “Ah, I understand. You have a crush on her.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Not really. I mean, I know you better than anyone but your family and

maybe Wren—”

“You know me way better than any of them.”

“—but I just figured it out. So your secret’s probably safe.”