Kinky Confessions

“Exactly. She has a couple of vibrators, but it isn’t the same. I used to think it would be, but it isn’t. I… I don’t know if I can explain it. There’s just something about feeling the real thing inside you. That’s why I don’t want to use rubbers or anything else. I want to feel you.”

I leaned over and kissed her.

“I’m sorry it’s danger week for us,” she said quietly.

“Eh, we’ll survive. It’s a good thing you like swallowing, though.”

“Mmm, I love it.” She pulled back a little and studied me. “Brooke does too. Maybe not as much as me, but she does it. And… she’s on the pill. She wants you to come inside her. She’s still a little shy in person, though, so you’ll have to go slow with her. I sort of want you to go slow too. I’m pretty sure I can watch and not feel jealous, but I won’t know till we try. I didn’t have a problem that time with Wren, but you didn’t have sex with her.”

“No.”

“And I know you think I’m silly, but blowjobs aren’t sex. Not for real.

Penis in vagina, that’s sex. It’s… a lot different for me. It isn’t just body parts. It’s spiritual. Okay?”

“I understand.”

“But you know how much I like to watch. I get all hot and slippery just thinking about it.” She chuckled darkly. “If I can do it for real and not just in my head, it might be worth watching you and Terri, even though I know she

doesn’t want anything to do with me. Oh, don’t look so surprised! I know how you are. If you weren’t with me, you’d already have another notch on your bedpost.”

“I dunno about that,” I protested, “but yeah, I’d probably have slept with her by now. I’d like to think she’s girlfriend material, but you’ve ruined me.”

“Ruined you?”

“Yeah, for every other woman. Now that I’ve found you, all the others are just… I dunno… diversions.”

“Mmm, you can say that again.” She waited expectantly. “Go on, say it again.”

I laughed and said, “You ruined me. Every other woman is just a diversion. There. Happy?”

“Yes, thank you.” She leaned in for a kiss.

I pulled her hand to my semi-hard shaft, and she began stroking it.

“Someone approves.”

“Someone also thinks you need a good, hard you-know-what.”

“Fucking,” she said with a grin.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

We called Brooke about forty-five minutes later. She was reading an assignment and already on her second glass of wine.

“I just wanted to give you a call and see how you’re doing,” Christy said.

They spent a few minutes catching up. Then Christy said, “Paul’s here with me. Do you want to say hello?” She listened and then handed the phone to me with whispered instructions, “Tell her about the sketches.”

“Hey,” I said to Brooke, “how’re you?”

“Good. Suffering from senioritis and ready to graduate. You?”

“I’m one of those disgustingly optimistic people—”

“He is!” Christy said.

“—so I generally find a silver lining. But yeah, I get it. One of our other friends is s’posed to graduate this quarter. She’s swamped and sick of it.”

“The worst part is,” Brooke said, “I won’t even be done when I graduate.

I start my Master’s in the fall.”

“What’re you doing over the summer?”

“I have a six-week internship, but as little as possible the rest of the time.”

“Maybe you can come visit us,” I suggested.

“Sure, I’d like that.”

“Tell her about the sketches,” Christy urged in a low voice.

“I have an insistent little birdy here,” I said to Brooke. “She wants me to tell you I like the sketches.”

“What sk—?”

I actually heard her gulp. “Yeah, those,” I chuckled.

“Y-you like them?”

“I think you’re very pretty, but I also think you’re a little insecure about it.”

“Wh—?” She cleared her throat. “Why do you say that?”

“Christy mentioned a few things, but… I mean… everyone is, me included.” I shrugged. “Christy doesn’t think so, but she’s wrong.”

Christy herself frowned at the direction the conversation had taken.

“I dunno,” Brooke said, “you seem pretty confident to me.”

“I am, in general. But I have plenty of little insecurities.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Christy muttered.

I ignored her and continued, “She was giving me a hard time about it last week. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I’m kind of obsessive about my weight. I work out and run all the time, and I really try to watch what I eat, which isn’t easy with Miss Metabolism.”

“I know what you mean. She used to drive me crazy with her snacks all the time. At least they were healthy. But… why’re you worried about your weight? You look fine.”

“I used to be pudgy. I don’t ever want to be like that again.” I laughed softly, more at myself than anything. “I didn’t really have a girlfriend until I lost weight and got in shape. And… I know this is gonna sound dumb, but I guess I equate having a nice body with getting laid.”

Brooke scoffed, and Christy realized I was serious. Her brow furrowed with concern.

“I’m weird about my hair and clothes, too. I wanna look nice, but I also worry about what other people think. ‘Is he too poor to afford better clothes?’

‘Does he even care what he looks like?’ So… yeah.”

Neither girl knew what to say.