Lament for a lost lover

“You had a certain comfort. I was tired of the road. I knew they are going to fail in Paris. I had had enough of them all . I think he was cooling off and I like to be the one who cools a fist. You interested me greatly. Do you know, as soon as I saw I knew we should be friends. I enjoyed my little charade ... the way you took it was just what I would have expected of you. Now you have made me respectable for your mother and that has strengthened the bonds between us. You know that, Arabella.”

“I wish ...”I began.

“That I were the sort of young woman you would meet in your normal social round if you were in England? No, you don’t. You know I am different. That’s why you like me. I could never conform to a pattern. And do you know, Arabella, I have a feeling that you couldn’t either.”

“I don’t know. I feel I don’t know very much about myself.”

“Never mind. You’re learning.” She yawned. “And do you know, I fancy there may be some surprises in store for you. Now I will go to my room. Good night, Arabella.” After she had left me I sat thinking of her for a long time.

A few days later a messenger rode over with a letter which was addressed to me. I sent him to Marianne and Jeanne to be given food and drink and a room to rest in while I read my letter. It was addressed to Mistress Arabella Tolworthy, and came from Villers Tourron.

Dear Mistress Tolworthy,

I have had the great pleasure of meeting your parents in Cologne and have heard much about you and your family. We have recently arrived at Villers Tourron and, as like yourselves, are in exile awaiting the summons to return, I think it would give us all great pleasure if we met. We have a large house here and although not like home, we can entertain our friends. Your parents have given their permission for you and your brother to visit us and I and my family are hoping that you will do so. My son and daughter are with me at the moment. Edwin, my son, will shortly be joining the King, for as you know there is much activity in that quarter just now and hopes are high. If you would care to accept this invitation, do please give a message to our man. It is a two days’ journey by road and there is a comfortable inn on the way where you could spend the night. There is no reason why we should delay and I suggest that you should come in two weeks’ time. Do please say yes. Having met your parents and heard so much about you, we are all eager to meet you and your brother.

Matilda Eversleigh.

I was delighted. It would be interesting. I went to find Lucas to tell him about it.

He was in the schoolroom with Harriet. I was glad the children were not there. They would hate our going away, but naturally we could not expect the Eversleighs to invite them.

“Lucas,” I cried, “here’s an invitation from the Eversleighs.”

“The people our mother mentioned. Let me see.”

He read the letter, Harriet looking over his shoulder as he did so.

“You want to go?” she asked.

“I think we must. Our parents want us to.”

“It should be interesting,” said Lucas. “After all, we stay here all the time. It used to be so dull, though we never noticed it much. Only when ...” Harriet gave him a dazzling smile.

“We shouldn’t be away long, I suppose,” finished Lucas.

“Two weeks perhaps,” I said.

“What of the children?” asked Harriet.

“In her letter our mother said they would be all right with the servants. And so they should be.”

“They’ll hate your going,” said Harriet.

“For a few days and then they’ll be used to it. And think of the excitement for them when we come back.”

“I shall miss you!’ said Harriet wistfully.

I would go to my room and write the acceptance of the invitation; and I left Lucas and Harriet together.

The messenger went off with my letter, and as soon as he had one I began going through my wardrobe. What one wore was not important at Congreve but visiting would be different. T he door opened and Harriet came in.

She looked at the brown dress which lay on my bed. “You can’t take that,” she said.

“It doesn’t suit you.”

She picked it up firmly and hung it up in the cupboard.

“You have very little to go visiting in, Arabella,” she said. “I think we should attempt some refurbishing.”

“I daresay they live much the same as we do. They’re in exile too.”

“They contemplate entertaining so they will surely make some show. Really we shall have to look into our wardrobes. I could lend you something if I wasn’t ...” She hesitated and I looked at her sharply.

“Coming with you,” she added slyly.

“Coming with us. But ...”

“It will be more fun,” she said. “Just think how we will talk of it afterwards. You’ll need me there, Arabella.”

“But the invitation was for me and my brother.”

“How could it be otherwise when they didn’t know I was here.”

I looked at her steadily. Her eyes were dancing with mockery.

‘How can you come, Harriet, when you have not been invited?”

‘It’s simple. If I had been your sister, they would not have hesitated to ask me.”

“But you are not my sister.”

“’But I am your friend.”