Leafpool’s Wish

Leafpool bolted out of the stream and ducked under a holly bush. The prickly leaves grazed her fur as she crawled out of sight. She knew she had done nothing wrong, crossed no boundaries, taken nothing that belonged to WindClan, but she wasn’t ready to face her neighbors’ scrutiny, not so soon. She heard the WindClan cats pause to renew scent marks, then continue on up the hill. Leafpool waited for a few moments, then wriggled out and shook bits of twig from her fur.

She returned to the stream and was dragging the bitten stalk of yarrow up the bank when a voice startled her.

“Did you think I hadn’t noticed you? I’d know your scent anywhere!”

Leafpool dropped the stalk, which fell into the stream with a splash. “Crowfeather! What are you doing? Where is your patrol?”

“I sent them on to check the marks beyond the ridge.” Crowfeather’s blue eyes were huge and searching. “I… I wanted to see how you were.”

Leafpool took a step back from the bank. “I’m fine. Busy, as you can see.”

Suddenly Crowfeather leaped across the stream. His scent wafted over Leafpool and the nearness of him made her want to press against his shoulder and feel the warmth of his pelt. “I have missed you,” he whispered, so close she could feel his breath on her muzzle. “I need you with me. I wish things could be different.”

“I wish that too,” Leafpool mewed. “More than you could possibly know.” She pictured Whitepaw’s frail body lying in the clearing, Mousefur’s seeping tick wound, Berrykit’s pricked foot. These were the cats that really needed her. She straightened up. “But we can’t change anything, Crowfeather. It’s over. I am ThunderClan’s medicine cat, until the day I join StarClan.”

She felt Crowfeather pull away and stare at her. Did he think he could go back to the way things were? Whatever happens now is my destiny, and mine alone. He cannot be part of it! “I think you should leave,” she meowed. “Your patrol will come looking for you soon. Do you want them to doubt your loyalty all over again?”

Crowfeather blinked. “I thought we didn’t care what our Clanmates believed about us.”

“Well, I do,” Leafpool meowed. “Go back to your Clan, Crowfeather. I won’t let you ruin everything again.”

It was as if she had struck the WindClan warrior a physical blow. He flinched away with hurt in his eyes. “If that’s what you really want,” he murmured.

“It is,” Leafpool growled. Inside her, the kits squirmed so fiercely that Leafpool was convinced Crowfeather would see. Can they hear me sending their father away? Oh, little ones, what choice do I have? If I lose my place in ThunderClan, we will have nothing!

Crowfeather jumped over the stream. He gazed back at her and opened his mouth to speak but the sound of rapid paw steps made them look up the hill. His patrol was racing toward them. Leafpool whisked around and dived back under the holly bush. She peeped out to see the patrol circling around Crowfeather. The black she-cat pressed close to him, twining her tail with his. When she spoke, Leafpool recognized her as Nightcloud, a WindClan warrior who had never been friendly toward ThunderClan.

“Is everything okay?” Nightcloud was asking. “Who were you talking to?”

“No one important,” Crowfeather grunted, and Leafpool felt her heart crack. “Come on, let’s finish the patrol.”

The WindClan cats bounded away. Leafpool crawled out of her hiding place. No one important? Well, it looks as if Nightcloud is the important one now. Had Crowfeather lied about wanting to go back to the way things were? His life seemed to have moved on already, and his Clanmates didn’t look like they doubted his loyalty. Leafpool was alone with her kits—by choice or accident.

The StarClan cats said they couldn’t tell me what to do, but Yellowfang must know something that might help. I’ll go back to her, remind her that she lived through this herself, and beg for advice. I cannot do this on my own!

Chapter 6