Leafpool’s Wish

Leafpool nodded. She felt sick with dread. One small paw step would change everything, plunge her back into her life as a medicine cat, when she had barely become a mother. She slowed down, her paws as heavy as rocks, and Squirrelflight kept pace with her, resting her tail lightly on Leafpool’s back.

Lionkit had scrambled onto a fallen tree. “I can see the lake from here!” he yowled. “It’s as big as the world!”

“Let me see!” panted Hollykit, trying to haul herself up. Her scrabbling paws knocked Lionkit off balance and he fell off the trunk with a yelp.

Leafpool was about to run over to him when she stopped. She looked at Squirrelflight. “You go,” she mewed. “They need to learn that you are their mother.” The words stuck like thorns in her throat and the trees blurred around her.

Squirrelflight’s gaze was warm and full of sorrow. “Are you sure?” she asked quietly. “I know what we agreed, but you can still change your mind. I will do everything I can to help you, whatever you decide.”

Leafpool leaned against her sister’s shoulder for a moment. I wish everything were different! Oh, my kits, I am so sorry! Then she straightened up. “I am sure. Be good to them. Love them more than life.”

“I will,” Squirrelflight promised.

Leafpool rubbed some of her milk scent onto Squirrelflight’s fur, then watched as her sister trotted over to the tree trunk to rescue Lionkit, who was unharmed but squeaking indignantly on the other side. As Squirrelflight pulled Lionkit clear of the ferns, Jaykit and Hollykit clustered around her.

“Can you help us all climb up?” they mewed. “We want to see the lake!”

Squirrelflight curled her tail around them. “Of course I can, my darlings,” she purred. “One at a time, no pushing!”

Leafpool forced herself to turn away and walk into the undergrowth. She needed to find some herbs that would stop her milk. There was a patch of wild parsley growing close to the border. Nosing carefully through the bracken, she found the frost-nipped plants and picked the leaves. Some she ate at once, wincing at the sharp taste, and the rest she rolled up to carry back to her den. I am the ThunderClan medicine cat, she told herself. My sister has had three kits, and I could not be more delighted.

They crossed the border close to one of the tunnel entrances and began to descend the slope toward the hollow. Hollykit stopped by the tunnel and peered in, her fur flattened by the cold wind.

“Stay away from there!” Squirrelflight warned. “It’s not safe for cats to go inside.”

Lionkit scrunched up his nose. “Who’d want to? It’s all dark and scary!”

Jaykit was sniffing a clump of moss. “I can smell cats!” he squeaked.

“That’s right, little one,” Squirrelflight mewed. “Those are your Clanmates.”

Hollykit trotted over and butted Squirrelflight’s belly. “I’m hungry! Where’s all the milk gone? You smell the same, but I can’t find anything to eat!”

Leafpool watched as Squirrelflight stroked Hollykit with her tail. “I’m sorry, poppet. My milk has gone, but there’s a lovely cat called Daisy who will have plenty for you.”

Hollykit pouted. “But I want your milk!”

Leafpool’s belly ached with a pain more fierce than the birth of her kits. She hung back as Squirrelflight led them down the narrow path beside the hollow. She couldn’t risk the kits picking up the milk-scent that still clung to her. When she noticed a deep patch of snow among the roots of a tree, she stopped and rolled in it to clean off the last traces of kit scent. Then she rubbed herself against a patch of damp ferns, covering her fur in sharp green flavors as further disguise.

In the distance, she could hear Squirrelflight telling the kits about ThunderClan, how they would grow up to be great warriors, strong and skilled at hunting and fighting.

“I know how to fight already!” Lionkit boasted. “Watch this!” He launched himself at a branch that lay on the fallen leaves, then stumbled back as a twig poked him in the eye. “Ow!”

“Come on, little warrior,” Squirrelflight meowed. “Let’s see if we can get you home in one piece!”

“Why aren’t you walking with us anymore?” piped a small voice beside Leafpool.

She jumped and looked down at Jaykit’s dazzling blue eyes. “I… I had to fetch some herbs,” she explained after putting the leaf wrap on the ground. “I’m the medicine cat for ThunderClan, you see.”

Jaykit put his head on one side. “You were in the hollow tree, weren’t you?”

“That’s right. I am your mother’s sister. I came to look after her while she gave birth to you.”

“Why didn’t she stay in the Clan to have us?” Jaykit asked.

Leafpool’s heart began to beat faster. “Because we had to go on a journey together,” she meowed. “And you came unexpectedly. But it’s my duty to care for all of our Clanmates when they are sick or in trouble, so it’s lucky I was there to look after your mother.”