Letters

Then why rementioned here? (Art’s very question.) Why, in order to explain the fizzle of what we take to have been meant to be a bombshell, in the post of Saturday last. Germaine and I were hosting a family cook-in (too sultry outdoors to leave the air conditioning) — steamed hard crabs and champagne to celebrate Peter’s furlough from hospital and the passage of another full moon (the Sturgeon, 27 August, penumbrally eclipsed) without Milady’s menses — when there arrived, amid the bills and ads and medical-insurance matters, a first-class to me from Fort Erie, Ontario, in a hand I knew. My heart winced in the old way, equal parts resentment and apprehension, at sight of that stenographic penmanship, still recognisable though as strung out from its erstwhile tightness as was the penwoman at our last encounter (Fort Erie Assault & 2nd Conception scene). Why would Marsha not leave off, that indefatigable exacter of penalties? I fished her letter from the pile and pocketed it, not to becloud the feast; but Magda had recognised it too, and smiled at my exasperation (even G. sensed something was up, luv), and my feast was beclouded anyhow. I stepped down into the camera obscura room — the party was upstairs — and read it. Germaine followed promptly; Magda soon after; no way for Peter to manage the stairs, or he’d’ve been there too.

A declaration: Angela is not your daughter, ha ha. Full and plausible description: the circumstances of her engenderment on a certain night fifteen years since, in a period when, over and above my limited fertility, my then considerable potency was in relative abeyance by reason of marital quarrels. Graphic and sarcastic account of Marsha’s rousing to adultery my fertile but indifferently potent brother. Et cetera. No occasion given for the writer’s tendering this news now, which I passed on to Germaine, and she to Magda, without comment.

Peter wondered merrily from the kitchen what we were up to: the champagne was losing its cool. Magda kissed first me, then Germaine, and took the liberty of shredding the letter. “Poor bitch,” she said, and left us. Angie squealed at her Uncle Peter’s popping of the cork. Milady wondered, with a sigh, Must we really reenact this stage? I suggested we wed without waiting for either further tidings from her uterus or clearer economic weather; (she agreed, Art, right readily, and) we went upstairs to announce the news. Angie hugged us all noisily, her wont, and was noisily hugged back. Embraces and the bubbly all around.

There remained the matter of date. Germaine herself proposed Saturday, 13 September, as being by her reckoning the 6th day of what would be the 6th week of the 6th Stage of our affair. I concurred. As to the hour, she was less certain: ought it to be 6 A.M.? 6 P.M.? Or (dividing the 24 hours into half a dozen equal periods) sometime between 8 P.M. and midnight?

About 10:17 A.M., said I. Or about 5:08 P.M. Your choice.

(About?!)

Let’s say tennish that morning or fivish that afternoon.

Um. She didn’t get it. (Doesn’t yet, at this point in her transcription.)

Depending, you see, on whether our wedding should commence the fourth or the sixth period of that day: i.e., the “Marsha/Marriage” Period or the “We-Ourselves” Period.

Oh, the We-Ourselves, definitely (said Germaine). Sixes all the way, luv.

Done, then: 13 Sept., fivish.

But, um.

Um?

Yes. When Germaine elle-même divides 24 hours by 6 (went on Germaine), she gets a day whose 6th Period commences at 8 P.M sharp

Aye.

Is her arithmetic wrong (she wants to know)?

Not her arithmetic.

Well. She had been patient, had she not, my fiancée asked, with my exasperating schedules and programmes? Patient and more than patient? And it was, was it not, in a spirit of loving accommodation thereto that she (right readily) put by whatever qualms the probably and delicately pregnant might, if even slightly superstitious, entertain about marrying on the 13th?

Aye.

Then she lovingly requests of her hopeful impregnator (you understand, Art; we’ve not seen Dr Rosen yet) and willful fiancé a full farking outline of what we’re up to, that she may judge for herself whether certain tacit understandings have all along been tacit misunderstandings, e.g., her betrothed’s hexaphilia. Call it an engagement gift.

Okay. Up to a point.

What point?

The sixth point.

O shit, Ambrose! (Aye! Aye!)

Leave a double space here in the transcript, Germaine: we come now to the business of this letter.