Lilian Jackson Braun - Cat 18 Who Said Cheese

Koko yowled at every mention of fromage, leading Qwilleran to conclude that the cat was not comprehending words; he was reading minds, and the extra whiskers were probably responsible.

The program then listed the twenty cheeses with country of origin and kernels of information:

FROM FRANCE:

Roquefort, the king of cheeses - blue- veined, patented five centuries ago.

Brie, the queen of cheeses - soft, buttery, salty, and capricious-once an influence in

French politics.

Camembert, invented by a woman - a soft, elegant dessert cheese associated with affluence. Port du Salut, first made by

Trappist monk - nothing monastic about its rich, ripe flavor.

Neufchƒtel - small, white, creamy, mild- flavored - becomes pungent with age.

FROM GERMANY:

Tilsiter - full-bodied ripe flavor, pleasant to the nose and palate. More respectable than Limburger.

FROM ITALY:

Bel Paese - pearly white, sweetly mild, and agreeably rubbery in texture.

Fontina - yellowish and sometimes slightly smoky. A table cheese that also melts well for cooking.

Gorgonzola - blue-veined like Roquefort but less salty and more creamy than crumbly.

FROM SWITZERLAND:

Emmenthaler - the big cheese with big holes. Wheels weigh up to 160 pounds.

Flavor: Swiss.

GruyŠre - a smaller, saltier, creamier, more delicious Swiss with smaller holes

(called "eyes").

Raclette -a rich cheese made for fondue and the melt-and-scrape ritual called

"raclette."

FROM DENMARK:

Havarti - mild, clean, slightly acid flavor that becomes sharper with age.

Samsoe - similar to Cheddar in flavor with a slightly sweet, nutty flavor.

FROM THE NETHERLANDS:

Edam - popular low-fat cheese with cushiony shape and red rind. Texture: like soap but pleasant.

Gouda - yellow, fairly hard, and blessed with a strong flavor minus bite. Smoked version is great!

FROM CANADA:

Cheddar - with the famous flavor and famous black rind. Need we say more.

FROM GREECE:

Feta - soft, white, heavily salted.

Crumble it on salads, pizza, and other dishes.

FROM GREAT BRITAIN:

Cheddar - from the country where it all began. Complicated to make, easy to love.

Stilton - a magnificent blue-veined cheese that slices well. A classic with port wine.

As Qwilleran read this list aloud, Yum Yum fell asleep on his lap with a foreleg over her ears, but Koko listened attentively. Three times he yowled - at Brie, GruyŠre, and feta. Because they're salty, Qwilleran reasoned, but so is Roquefort... Yet, Koko was unimpressed by the king of cheeses.

At midday he walked to the newspaper office and handed in his copy on eating in the good old days. It began, "Where are the foods of yesteryear?"

He also picked up his fan mail, but Sarah was not there to slit the envelopes for him. The office boy said with a grin, "She took the day off to get her hair and face done. Whoo-ee!" Officially the speaker was a "systems aide," but to Qwilleran he was still an office boy.

For lunch he went to the Spoonery, where the day's soup specials were New Orleans gumbo, Viennese goulash, oxtail, and turkey-barley. He had a bowl of the oxtail and pronounced it sensational. He also asked Lori if the turkey-barley soup really had any turkey in it.

"It's loaded! Big chunks! Want a bowl? The second bowl is twenty percent off," she said.

"No thanks, but I'd like a quart to take out." He planned to fish out a few chunks of turkey for the Siamese, avoiding the barley. That should satisfy them until the bird in the refrigerator was ready to fly.

Before he left the Spoonery, several copies of the Monday paper were delivered for customers to read with their soup, and Qwilleran grabbed one. The weekend had been an editor's delight, with the Celebrity Auction, the Pasty Bake-off and the bike-a-thon. Qwilleran chuckled as he read about the pasty winners' names being locked in a safe overnight - accidentally. More likely, he thought, Hixie had engineered the trick to delay the newsbreak until the Something's deadline. The news story read:

PASTY WINNERS HERALDED

Two local cooks were elected to the new

Pasty Hall of Fame Saturday after their contest entries survived three batteries of judges.

Lenore Bassett of Trawnto Beach placed first among the turnip less entries.

George Stendhup of Sawdust City won in the turnip category. Each will receive a blue ribbon and a $100 prize.

After the process of blind judging - with entrants identified only by number - the suspense was prolonged by an accidental misunderstanding. Entrants' names were locked in a safe in the office of

MacWhannell & Shaw. The bakers of the winning pasties were not known until this morning.

Stendhup, a toolmaker, was one of an unexpected number of male entrants. "I always knew the guys made better pasties than the gals," he said when contacted with the good news. Pork was his meat of choice.

"I always add turnip for more guts."

Bassett could not be reached for comment, but her husband, Robert, said, "She's out of town on family business, but I'm gonna phone her the good news after five o'clock.