Limekiller!

we then hailed the three individuals,” read P.C. Lucas, virtuously, “but they at once made their craft to the opposite bank, and escaped into the bush. We would have pursued them but,” here the P.C. raised his eyes to those of his superior, who evaded them in a manner which indicated that he was at that moment passing no judgment as to should they have pursued said three individuals into the bush but might raise the matter at a time subsequent; “. but upon observing that the object they had dropped was spilling gold coins we thought it best to return with it and them at once and to report the matter to the District Commissioner,” and here he closed his notebook and stood with his legs apart.

“You recognize this shirt, Mr. Limekiller?” Limekiller would at that moment have been willing to swear upon a copy of Domesday Boke and/or the British North America Act that he did not even recognize that it was a shirt, except that -

— except that it had been mended once by Felix who, not content with sewing up its rents and tears had also sewed onto the right breast the initials JL in very large letters: and if there was anyone in the entire District of Seville who had not seen him wearing it, it could only have been Blind Bob who sat in the Market Place, with his sightless eyes rolling, making baskets out of native rushes. Hardly perhaps a case where the principle of Stout Denial seemed in order. “Yes,” said Mr. Limekiller.

“We have examined these coins and find them to be golden guineas of the Reigns of Charles II, James II, and William III,” said the District Commissioner. and indeed one would scarcely- have needed to be a member of the Royal Association of Numismatists to have done so. with the monarchs’ names and titles emphatically emprinted on the coins in neat Latin abbreviations.

“You may know, Mr. Limekiller, that although it is not forbidden to own such coins, their ownership must be registered with the Treasury,” Mr. Limekiller took advantage of the pause to say nothing, “in order to establish the question of rightful ownership.” Pause. Mr. Limekiller continued to say nothing. “So you see there is more than one question we have to answer,” the D.C. began to tick them off on his fingers. “One, are these your gold coins? Two, if they axe, then why have they not been registered? Three: if they have not been registered because you have just recently acquired them, then where and when and how did you acquire them? We perceive that there seems to be sand mixed among the gold and lying in the shirt which they were wrapped in. Can it be that the coins of gold were just recently dug up somewhere? — say, somewhere on the shore? In such a case we would have to add Question Number Four: was the gold obtained in an illegal manner or fashion?”Jack noted that the possibility that he had obtained the gold whilst illegally taking turtle eggs had not been raised: he himself was not going to raise it. “Question Five: is it not so that even if the gold was taken from someone who had himself illegally failed to register it, would that make the taking of it by someone else other than illegal? no — it would NOT! Theft would be and is theft! Mind you,” said the D.C., “I don’t accuse you of theft. Nor do I accuse you of having the gold in your possession — although you don’t deny do you, having the gold in your possession, do you? — other than legally?”

Limekiller cleared his throat, but with great control refrained from saying, “Ahh.” Or even “Umm.” He said, “Who says it was in my possession?”

The District Commissioner sat for a second with his mouth open. “Why who? Two of our Government officials. no. well… if the gold was not in your possession, then how did it come to be on your boat?”

“Maybe the same ones who were taking it off, put it on?”

The D.C. brushed away an invisible fly. “Why would they have done that?” And Limekiller quickly pointed out that it was not for him to ascertain their motives. “Best that you ask them that,” he suggested. And the D.C. looked up at the P.C. But P.C. Lucas continued to stand At Ease, saying nothing.

The District Commissioner now looked his invited guest straight between the eyes and said, “Now, Mr. Limekiller, it is not prohibited to own gold coins regardless of are they legal tender or not and the question, ‘Are such coins still legal tender or not’ is one into which I will not go;” echoes of Churchill’s reply to the new secretary telling him not to end a sentence with a preposition: “This is an impertinence up with which I will not put.” — “however, we are obliged to ahsk, I will not say demand” (and, Damned nice of you! thought Jack) “how you did get these coins, because they are not in shall we say common ownership. So I shall now ahsk you that question.”