Lone eagle

“I'm fine.” She sat down on the couch next to him, and caught her breath for a minute. She'd had food poisoning a few days before, and said she thought it had something to do with that. Her stomach was still queasy, and had been for days.

“Sit down for a few minutes. You've been running around all morning.” She'd been up and down the ladder a dozen times taking ornaments off the tree, and chasing the children. The sitter was off on Sundays and holidays.

“I'm fine, honestly,” she insisted a minute later, and stood up very quickly. She had a lot to do, and didn't want to waste time. And the moment she got up, he turned to look at her, as her eyes rolled slowly back in her head, and she slid to the floor at his feet. She had fainted.

He was on the floor next to her instantly, on his knees, checking her pulse, and listening to see if she was breathing. He had his face close to hers, as she opened her eyes slowly and moaned softly. She had no idea what had happened. One minute she was looking at him, and the next she was lying on the floor staring up at him. He looked frantic.

“Kate, what happened? What do you feel?” She was thirty-one years old, and suddenly looked like she was dying to him.

“I don't know,” she looked scared and a little woozy. “I just got dizzy.” The wife of one of Joe's pilots had just died of a brain tumor, and it was all he could think of as she got slowly to her feet.

“I'm taking you to the hospital. Now,” he said, helping her back onto the couch. She didn't try to get up, she was glad to be lying down, although she was feeling a lot better.

“I'm sure it's nothing. We can't leave the kids anyway. I'll call the doctor.”

“Just lie there,” he told her. She did, and a little while later, she was asleep, while he watched her. He didn't want to tell her, but he was worried sick. In all the years he'd known her, she had never fainted. He was still sitting on the couch next to her when she woke up, and she looked much better. And over his protests, that night she cooked them all dinner, but he noticed that she ate very little. He made her promise that she would see the doctor in the morning, and he was already planning to call the head of Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital. He was an old friend and a flying buff, and Joe wanted to get the names of the best doctors in New York in case it turned out to be as serious as he feared it would be. But Kate seemed much more nonchalant about it than he did. He looked so upset that when they went to bed that night, she didn't have the heart to keep it from him any longer. She turned to him just as he was about to turn off the light, and kissed him. He was convinced she was dying, and he was fighting back tears as he held her close to him.

“Sweetheart, don't worry, I'm fine…. I didn't want you to be mad at me,” particularly over the holidays. She had wanted to wait until January at least, but she knew she couldn't now. It wasn't fair to worry him.

“Why would I be mad at you? It's not your fault if you're sick, Kate,” he said gently, as she lay back against the pillow.

“I'm not sick…. I'm pregnant.” If she had hit him with a brick, it would have had less effect on him than what she just told him.

“You're what!” He looked dumbstruck.

“We're having a baby.” She sounded very calm, and he could see easily that she was happy about it, although she'd been worried about his reaction to the news.

“How long have you known?” He felt thoroughly duped. She'd been keeping it from him.

“Since just before Christmas. The baby's due in August.” It had happened before Thanksgiving.

“You tricked me!” he said, leaping out of bed in a fury. She had never seen him as angry, as she lay in bed and watched him storm around the room. He was throwing things on the floor, and slammed the door to her bathroom. It was the reaction she had feared, and not the one she had hoped for.

“I didn't trick you,” she said softly.

“The hell you didn't. You said you were using something.” She had used birth control for years, ever since the miscarriage at Radcliffe, except when she was married to Andy.

“I did use something, but it must have slipped. Joe, that happens.”

“Why now? I told you when we talked about it a few months ago that I didn't want kids. You must have just gone right home that night and flushed your diaphragm down the toilet. Don't you care what I want?” He looked outraged and her lip was trembling. His needs were in sharp conflict with hers.

“Of course I do, it was an accident, Joe. I couldn't help it. Worse things could happen.” But not in Joe's mind. She hadn't listened to him and he felt trapped suddenly.

“Not much. Dammit, Kate. Get rid of it. I don't want it.”

“Joe, you don't mean that!” She looked shocked, he was having a total tantrum.

“I do. I'm not having a baby at my age. Have an abortion.” He finally threw himself down on the bed, and glared at her. She was horrified by what he was saying.