Lords And Ladies

He had managed to get the three of them seats in the front row. This wasn't according to the rules of precedence, but it was amazing how everyone squeezed up to make room. He'd also found some peanuts. No one ever knew how he managed that.

"Oook?"

"No, thank you," said Ponder Stibbons. "They give me wind."

"Oook?"

"I like to listen to a man who likes to talk! Whoops! Sawdust and treacle! Put that in your herring and smoke it!"

"I don't think he wants one," said Ponder.

The curtain went up, or at least was pulled aside by Carter the baker.

The Entertainment began.

The Librarian watched in deepening gloom. It was amazing. Normally he quite liked a badly acted play, provided enough confectionery stayed airborne, but these people weren't even good at bad acting. Also, no one seemed to be on the point of throwing anything.

He fished a peanut out of the bag and rolled it in his fingers, while staring intently at the left ear of Tailor the other weaver.

And felt his hair rise. This is very noticeable on an orang-utan.

He glanced up at the hill behind the erratic actors, and growled under his breath.

"Oook?"

Ponder nudged him.

"Quiet!" he hissed. "They're getting the hang of it. . ."

There was an echo to the voice of the one in the straw wig.

"What'd she say?" said Ponder.

"Oook!"

"How'd she do that? That's good makeup, that-"

Ponder fell silent.

Suddenly the Librarian felt very alone.

Everyone else in the audience had their gaze fastened firmly on the turf stage.

He moved a hand up and down in front of Stibbons's face.

The air was wavering over the hill, and the grass on its side moved in a way that made the ape's eyes ache.

"Oook?"

Over the hill, between the little stones, it began to snow.

"Oook?"

Alone in her room, Magrat unpacked the wedding dress.

And that was another thing.

She ought to have been involved in the dress, at least. She was going to – would have been the one wearing it, after all. There should have been weeks of choosing the material, and fittings, and changing her mind, and changing the material, and changing the pattern, and more fittings . . .

. . . although of course she was her own woman and didn't need that kind of thing at all. . .

. . . but she should have had the choice.

It was white silk, with a tasteful amount of lace. Magrat knew she wasn't much up on the language of dressmaking. She knew what things were, she just didn't know the names. All those ruches and pleats and gores and things.

She held the dress against her and gave it a critical examination.

There was a small mirror against the wall.

After a certain amount of internal tussling Magrat gave in and tried the dress on. It wasn't as if she'd be wearing it tomorrow. If she never did try it on, she'd always wonder if it had fitted.

It fitted. Or, rather, it didn't fit but in a flattering way. Whatever Verence had paid, it had been worth it. The dressmaker had done cunning things with the material, so that it went in where Magrat went straight up and down and billowed out where Magrat didn't.

The veil had silk flowers on the headband.

I'm not going to start crying again, Magrat told herself. I'm going to stay angry. I'm going to wind up the anger until it's thick enough to become rage, and when they come back I shall–

–what?

She could try being icy. She could sweep majestically past them . . . this was a good dress for that . . . and that'd teach them.

And then what? She couldn't stay here, not with everyone knowing. And they'd find out. About the letter. News went around Lancre faster than turpentine through a sick donkey.

She'd have to go away. Perhaps find somewhere where there were no witches and start up again, although at the moment her feelings about witches were such that she'd prefer practically any other profession, insofar as there were other professions for an ex-witch.

Magrat stuck out her chin. The way she felt now, with the bile bubbling like a hot spring, she'd create a new profession. One that with any luck didn't involve men and meddling old women.

And she'd keep that damn letter, just to remind her. All the time she'd wondered how Verence was able to have things arranged weeks before she got back, and it was as simple as this. How they must have laughed . . .

* * *

It occurred briefly to Nanny Ogg that she really should be somewhere else, but at her time of life invitations to intimate candlelit suppers were not a daily occurrence. There had to be a time when you stopped worrying about the rest of the world and cared a little for yourself. There had to be a time for a quiet, inner moment.