Lost Stars

“I’m sure this has never happened before,” Mothwing mewed, blinking unhappily at the sheet of solid ice. “Not even in that dreadful leaf-bare when Flametail died.”

With the rest of the medicine cats, Shadowpaw stretched out his neck and bent his head to touch his nose to the ice. Cold stabbed through him like a thorn. He closed his eyes, but when he opened them again, he was still crouching in the icy darkness beside the pool. He hadn’t been transported to the warm territory of StarClan, and there was no sign that the warriors of StarClan were trying to reach them here. Raising his head to gaze around, Shadowpaw couldn’t even see the hazy shapes that had appeared at the previous meeting, or hear their distant voices.

“Oh, StarClan, where are you?” Frecklewish exclaimed, her voice shaking as she echoed Shadowpaw’s silent prayer. “Please come to us—we need you!”

Mothwing moved back from the pool and sat with her forepaws neatly together, her amber eyes gleaming. “We can cope,” she assured Frecklewish kindly. “We don’t need guidance from StarClan when we still have our common sense. We’ll get through this.”

Jayfeather scowled at her. “What a surprise that you’re not worried,” he muttered bitterly.

“What does that mean?” Mothwing asked, her eyes wide.

“It means that you’ve never believed in StarClan, so it’s no loss to you,” Jayfeather hissed.

Shadowpaw stared at the ThunderClan medicine cat as gasps of surprise rippled through the others. Puddleshine had told Shadowpaw that the RiverClan medicine cat didn’t believe in StarClan, but it had never been spoken of during a half-moon meeting.

“The rest of us know how important this is. How alone we are.” Jayfeather’s voice trembled with emotion, and his sightless eyes flashed with anger and fear.

Mothwing shifted her paws, looking down at the ground, then back at Jayfeather. “Not that you asked,” she meowed evenly, “but with time to reflect on what happened in the Great Battle, and everything that happened with Darktail and the cats we lost . . . I no longer deny that StarClan exists.”

“What?” Kestrelflight demanded, lashing his tail as he turned to face Mothwing.

“You’re serious?” Jayfeather asked.

Shadowpaw shifted nervously on his paws. He’d heard from Puddleshine that Mothwing’s lack of belief was a source of conflict between her and some of the medicine cats.

Mothwing drew herself up straight. “Let me finish,” she said. “I believe StarClan exists, but I don’t know that their intentions are good, or that we always benefit from their ‘guidance,’” she said.

“How can you say that?” Alderheart asked. “Their advice about SkyClan returning—”

“Led to Darktail’s reign,” Mothwing interrupted. “And how many cats died?”

Jayfeather huffed. “How many more would have died, if they hadn’t warned us?”

Mothwing shook her head. “That’s neither here nor there,” she meowed calmly. “We’ll never know. Anyway, every cat can believe what he or she wants. I just think we don’t need to panic.”

Shadowpaw couldn’t agree with her, and from the worried looks the other medicine cats were exchanging, he could see that they shared his uncertainty.

We don’t just have to worry about the cold and the shortage of prey, he thought. The real problem is why StarClan isn’t coming to meet with us. They’ve sent me visions, so it can’t be me. . . . Have the Clans made them angry somehow?

“Does this mean that the Moonpool is just a sheet of ice?” he asked. “Isn’t it a special place anymore?”

Willowshine reached out her tail and touched him lightly on his shoulder. “It won’t last,” she promised. “Often in leaf-bare the water near RiverClan territory freezes up, but the ice melts again as soon as the weather turns warmer.”

“But usually it’s only the edges of the pool that freeze,” Mothwing pointed out. “Never the whole thing. It’s never been as cold as this before.”

Alderheart shook his head sadly. “I’ve got a horrible feeling,” he mewed, “that nothing we remember can prepare us for whatever is going on here. I just don’t understand it. We know that when Squirrelflight spent time in StarClan’s hunting grounds, they told her we should draw closer to them. How can we, though, if they won’t speak with us?”

An ominous silence fell. Shadowpaw gazed at one worried face after another; a bud of fear began to swell inside him as he realized that none of these medicine cats—the cats he respected and looked up to above all others—had any idea why they were suddenly cut off from StarClan. And my visions aren’t exactly normal, he thought with shame. What if there is something about me . . . something that keeps them from contacting the medicine cats through the Moonpool?