Maskerade

'At the last stop he was going on about pancakes with lemon,' said Granny. 'And mashed potatoes with butter.'

'Makes me feel hungry just listening to that,' said Nanny. 'I've got a pork pie in the bag somewhere–'

The snoring stopped abruptly. A hand came up and moved the handkerchief aside. The face beyond was friendly, bearded and small. It gave the witches a shy smile which turned inexorably towards the pork pie.

'Want a slice, mister?' said Nanny. 'I've got some mustard here, too.'

'Oo, would you, dear lady?' said the man, in a squeaky voice. 'Don't know when I last had a pork pie–oh, dear...'

He grimaced as if he'd just said something wrong, and then relaxed.

'Got a bottle of beer if you want a drop, too,' said Nanny. She was one of those women who enjoy seeing people eat almost as much as eating itself.

'Beer?' said the man. 'Beer? You know, they don't let me drink beer. Hah, it's supposed to be the wrong ambience. I'd give anything for a pint of beer–'

'Just a "thank you" would do,' said Nanny, passing it over.

'Who's this "they" to whom you refers?' said Granny.

' 'S my fault really,' said the man, through a faint spray of pork crumbs. 'Got caught up, I suppose...'

There was a change in the sounds from outside. The lights of a town were going past and the coach was slowing down.

The man forced the last of the pie into his mouth and washed it down with the dregs of the beer.

'Oo, lovely,' he said. Then he leaned back and put the handkerchief over his face.

He raised a corner. 'Don't tell anyone I spoke to you,' he said, 'but you've made a friend of Henry Slugg.'

'And what do you do, Henry Slugg?' said Granny, carefully.

'I'm... I'm on the stage.'

'Yes. We can see,' said Nanny Ogg.

'No, I meant–'

The coach stopped. Gravel crunched as people climbed down. The door was pulled open.

Granny saw a crowd of people peering excitedly through the doorway, and reached up automatically to straighten her hat. But several hands reached out for Henry Slugg, who sat up, smiled nervously, and let himself be helped out. Several people also shouted out a name, but it wasn't the name of Henry Slugg.

'Who's Enrico Basilica?' said Nanny Ogg.

'Don't know,' said Granny. 'Maybe he's the person Mr Slugg's afraid of.'

The coaching inn was a run‑down shack, with only two bedrooms for guests. As helpless old ladies travelling alone, the witches got one, simply because all hell would have been let loose if they hadn't.

Mr Bucket looked pained.

'I may just be a big man in cheese to you,' he said, 'you may think I'm just some hard‑headed businessman who wouldn't know culture if he found it floating in his tea, but I have been a patron of the opera here and elsewhere for many years. I can hum nearly the whole of–'

'I am sure you've seen a lot of opera,' said Salzella. 'But... how much do you know about production?'

'I've been behind the scenes in lots of theatres–'

'Oh, theatre,' said Salzella. 'Theatre doesn't even approach it. Opera isn't theatre with singing and dancing. Opera's opera. You might think a production like Lohenshaak isfull of passion, but it's a sandpit of toddlers compared to what goes on behind the scenes. The singers all loathe the sight of one another, the chorus despises the singers, they both hate the orchestra, and everyone fears the conductor; the staff on one prompt side won't talk to the staff on the opposite prompt side, the dancers are all crazed from hunger in any case, and that's only the start of it, because what is really–'

There was a series of knocks at the door. They were painfully irregular, as if the knocker were having to concentrate quite hard.

'Come in, Walter,' said Salzella.

Walter Plinge shuffled in, a pail dangling at the end of each arm. 'Come to fill your coalscuttle Mr Bucket!'

Bucket waved a hand vaguely, and turned back to the director of music. 'You were saying?'

Salzella stared at Walter as the man carefully piled lumps of coal in the scuttle, one at a time.

'Salzella?'

'What? Oh. I'm sorry... what was I saying?'

'Something about it being only the start?'