Megan's mate

She paused to choose her words and pushed absently at a pin that had loosened in her hair. It wasn't so horrible, she realized, to look back. It seemed almost like a play, with her as both actor and audience. Vitally involved and breezily detached.

So I went. There was candlelight, and we danced. I felt so grown-up. I think you only really feel that way when you're seventeen. We went to museums and window-shopping and to shows. He told me he loved me, and he bought me a ring.

It had two little diamond hearts, interconnected. It was very romantic. He slipped it on my finger, and I slipped into his bed.

She stopped, waited for Nathaniel to comment. When he didn't, she worked up the courage to continue.

He said he would come to Oklahoma, and we'd make our plans for the future. But, of course, he didn't come. At first, when I called, he said he'd been delayed. Then he stopped answering my calls altogether. I found out I was pregnant, and I called, I wrote. Then I heard that he was engaged, that he'd been engaged all along. At first I didn't believe it, then I just went numb. It took me a while before I made myself believe it, made myself understand and deal with it. My family was wonderful. I never would have gotten through it without them. When Kevin was born, I realized I couldn't just feel grown-up. I had to

be

grown-up. Later on, I tried to contact Bax one last time. I thought he should know about Kevin, and that Kevin should have some sort of relationship with his father. But...

She trailed off.

When there was ab

solutely no interest, only anger and hostility, I began to understand that it was best that that didn't happen. Today, maybe for the first time, I was absolutely sure of it.

He doesn't deserve either of you.

No, he doesn't.

She managed a small smile. Now - that she'd said it all, for the first time in so very long, she felt hollowed out. Not limp, she realized. Just free.

I want

to thank you for charging to the rescue.

My pleasure. He won't touch you again, Meg.

He took her hand, brought it to his

lips.

You or Kevin. Trust me.

I do.

She turned her hand in his, gripped.

I do trust you.

Her pulse was starting

to skip, but she kept her eyes on his.

I thought, when you carried me in and upstairs... Well, I didn't think you were going to make me tea.

Neither did I. But you were trembling, and I knew if I touched you before I cooled off, I'd be rough. That it wouldn't be right, for either of us.

Her heart stuttered, then picked up its pace.

Ace you cooled off now?

His eyes darkened.

Mostly.

Slowly, he rose, drew her to her feet.

Is that an

invitation, Megan?

I

He was waiting, she realized, for her to agree or refuse. No seduction, no pretty promising words. No illusions.

Yes,

she said, and met his lips with hers.

When he swept her up this time, she gave a quick, nervous laugh. It slid back down her throat when she met the look in his eyes.

You won't think of him,

Nathaniel said quietly.

You won't think of anything but

us.

Chapter 8

She could hear her own heartbeat pounding, pounding, in counterpoint to the rain that pounded against the windows. She wondered whether Nathaniel could hear it, too, and if he did, whether he knew that she was afraid. His arms were so strong, his mouth was so sure each time it swooped down to claim hers again.

He carried her up the stairs as if she weighed no more than the mist that swirled outside the cottage.

She would make a mistake, she would do something foolish, she wouldn't be what either of them wanted. The doubts pinched at her like fingers as he swept her into his bedroom, where the light was dim and the air was sweet with wisteria.

She saw the spear of purple blooms in an old bottle on a scarred wooden chest, the undraped windows that were opened to welcome the moist breeze. And the bed, with its sturdy iron headboard and taut cotton spread.

He set her down beside it, so that she was all too aware of the weakness in her knees. But she kept her eyes on his and waited, terrified and aching, for him to make the first move.

You're trembling again.

His voice was quiet, the fingers he lifted to stroke her cheek were soothing. Did she think he couldn't see all those fears in her eyes? She couldn't know that they stirred his own.

I don't know what to do.

The moment the words were out, she closed her eyes.

She'd done it already, she realized. The first mistake. Determined, she dragged his head down to hers for an aggressive kiss.

A fire kindled in his gut, flames leaping and licking at the ready fuel of his need.

Muscles tensed in reaction, he fought back the urge to shove her back on the bed and take, take quickly, fiercely. He kept his hands easy, stroking her face, her shoulders, her back, until she quieted.

Nathaniel.

Do you know what I want, Meg?

Yes No.

She reached for him again, but he caught her hands, kissed them, fingertip by fingertip.