More Cats In The Belfry

  He started to climb everything out of doors that he could find. Up trees, up gateposts and on one occasion up Mrs Binney. She still came down occasionally to keep an eye on things, but not nearly as often as before the providential advent of Mr Tooting, and this was the first time she'd seen him. I took him to the gate and lifted him up to meet her and in an instant, his gaze fixed on her eye-catching hairdo, he had scrambled on to her shoulder and up over her head, and was sitting on top poking his paw down the violet curls. 'Forward little beggar, in't he?' said Mrs Binney, which was really quite amiable coming from her, and when I'd untangled him from her hair she patted him.

  He started to climb the wire netting run of the cats' garden house from the outside too – it was a good six feet high, on a bank on a raised base, and he'd shin up and dash about on the wire top like a mad thing. Which was all very well – I was always on hand to lift him down from the slope of the cat-house roof when he'd had enough – until the day he and Tani were watching a mousehole in the stone at the top of the lawn. I'd slipped in to take something out of the oven (I had to do things like that when I thought they were safely based a moment) and when I scurried out again they were missing.

  I called them. No response. I blew Charles's scout whistle which I kept in my pocket for such emergencies – I'd long ago discovered that when I blew it Tani, always expecting the kidnappers, would emerge full pelt from wherever she was and bolt for the cottage. But, this time she didn't. The lawn – and it was almost dusk – was bare and silent. So I dashed inside for the only thing I could think of – the tin of cat biscuits that to both of them was a summons to heaven – and ran up the garden path rattling it. As if by magic Tani appeared from somewhere at the back of the cottage and rushed indoors and Saphra, too, shot across my vision. Not at ground level but darting across the top of the cat-run and, in order to get to the cat biscuits before Tani, launching himself from above my head out across the path and plonk down on the lawn on the other side.

  It was a good eight-foot drop and I started to run again, sure he must have hurt himself, but he bounced up fresh as a daisy and came tearing towards me. Pirate kittens did things like that, he informed me in a Siamese bawl. That was his Boarding Jump. Sinbad had taught him about it. Now what about those biscuits?

  A few days later he did far worse than that. It was a Sunday evening, and as usual I'd been out on the lawn with them. I'd picked up Tani and carried her in because it was supper time and gone back to fetch the Menace, whom I'd left studying a beetle in the border. Always ready for a game, he put his ears back, raced across the lawn and shinned up the tall plum tree against the garage wall. Right to the top from which he stepped off on to the wide, gloss-painted strip that edged the sloping garage roof, and immediately lost his footing on it.

  The garage is a conversion of a 250-year-old barn, the same age as the cottage. It is some twenty feet high at the apex and the roof-slope is steep. He couldn't get a grip on the painted wood, it didn't occur to him to jump beyond it on to the rougher tiles, and he started to slither down towards the bottom.

  'No... please!' I breathed, unable to do a thing to help except hope I might be able to catch him when he fell off. Then one of his claws caught in a splintered bit, he held on there for dear life anchored by one paw and yelling at him not to move, I rushed down to the woodshed for a ladder. He couldn't have known what I was saying – he hung there because he wasn't able to move – but the result was the same. I belted back with the ladder – fortunately of light aluminium, and I managed to extend it easily – slapped it against the roof and scuttled up it. He wouldn't let me unhook him with my hands, but clung to the wood strip for all he was worth. Only when I lay flat against the ladder and put my shoulder under his back feet, so that he could get a grip with them, did he turn and clamber cautiously down my body, sinking his claws into me like climbing pitons every inch of the way. How he would manage when he got to the end of me I dared not think. At that point, however, he was a good way down from his original mind-bo­ggling height and was level with the top of the Bramley apple tree on the other side of the path. One leap and he was across the gap and sprawled flat as a starfish across a branch of his haven.