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Where this speech came from I do not know. I am not used to making playful exchanges, but there is something in Elizabeth’s character which lightens mine.

Elizabeth laughed heartily, and I smiled, knowing that we were both enjoying the exchange. So well was I enjoying it that I forgot my caution and gave myself over to an appreciation of the moment.

‘Your cousin will give you a very pretty notion of me,’ she said to Colonel Fitzwilliam. Turning to me, she said:

‘It is very ungenerous of you to mention all that you knew to my disadvantage in Hertfordshire – and, give me leave to say, very impolitic too – for it is provoking me to retaliate, and such things may come out, as will shock your relations to hear.’

I smiled. ‘I am not afraid of you.’

Her eyes brightened at my remark.

Colonel Fitzwilliam begged to be told how I behave amongst strangers.

‘You shall hear all then,’ said Elizabeth. ‘But prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball – and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances!’

In her eyes, my refusal to dance became ridiculous, and I saw it so myself, for the first time. To stride about in all my pride, instead of enjoying myself as any wellregulated man would have done. Absurd! I would not ordinarily have tolerated any such teasing, and yet there was something in her manner that removed any sting, and instead made it a cause for laughter.

It was at this moment I realized there had been little laughter in my life of late. I had taken on the responsibilities of a man when my father died, and had prided myself on discharging them well, as my father would have done. I had tended my estate, looked to the welfare of my tenants, provided for my sister’s health, happiness and education, seen to the livings in my patronage and discharged my business faithfully. Until meeting Elizabeth that had been enough, but now I saw how dull my life had been. It had been too ordered. Too wellregulated. Only now did I begin to see it, and to feel it, for the feelings inside me were wholly different from any I had known. When I laughed, my disposition lightened.

‘I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party,’ I pointed out, catching her tone.

‘True: and nobody can ever be introduced in a ballroom.’

‘Perhaps I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction, but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.’

She teased me, wondering how it was that a man of sense and education could not do so, and Colonel Fitzwilliam joined her, saying I would not give myself the trouble.

‘I certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done,’ I agreed.

‘My fingers do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do, but then I had always supposed it to be my own fault – because I would not take the trouble of practising.’

I smiled.

‘You are perfectly right.’

At this moment, Lady Catherine interrupted us.

‘What are you talking about, Darcy?’

‘Of music,’ I said.

Lady Catherine joined us at the pianoforte.

‘Miss Bennet would not play amiss, if she practised more, and could have the advantage of a London master,’ declared my aunt. ‘She has a very good notion of fingering, though her taste is not equal to Anne’s. Anne would have been a delightful performer, had her health allowed her to learn.’

I scarcely heard her. I was watching Elizabeth. She bore with my aunt’s comments with remarkable civility, and at the request of Colonel Fitzwilliam and myself, she remained at the instrument until the carriage was ready to take the party home.

I thought I had rid myself of my admiration for her. I thought I had forgotten her. But I was wrong.

Monday 14th April

I was taking a walk round the grounds this morning when my steps led me unconsciously to the parsonage.

Finding myself outside I could not, in all politeness, pass by, and I called in to pay my respects. To my horror, I found Elizabeth there alone. She seemed as surprised as I was, but she was not, I think, displeased. Why should she be? It must be satisfying for her to think that she has captivated me. She bid me take a seat, and I had no choice but to sit down.

‘I am sorry for this intrusion,’ I said, feeling the awkwardness of the situation, and wanting to make sure she knew it had not been by design. ‘I understood all the ladies to be within.’

‘Mrs Collins and Maria have gone on business to the village,’ she replied.

‘Ah.’

‘Lady Catherine is well?’ she said at last.

‘Yes, I thank you. She is.’

Silence fell.

‘And Miss de Bourgh? She, too, is well?’

‘Yes, I thank you. She is.’

‘And Colonel Fitzwilliam?’ she asked.

‘Yes, he too is well.’

Another silence fell.

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