Murder of a Bookstore Babe

“Mom is going to kill you both.” Skye glared at them. “And I’m not going to be collateral damage.”

“You promised,” Vince insisted. “You pinkie swore.” He thumped the back of her head lightly with his thumb and forefinger.

“Shit!” It was times like this when Skye wished she used the f word.

“Yes, it’ll hit the fan, all right.” Vince made a face.

“Why? Tell me why you want to elope,” Skye demanded. She turned to Loretta. “Won’t your mother be disappointed? You’re her only daughter.”

“That’s the problem.” Loretta’s right eye gave a single twitch; then not a muscle moved in her face. “Although my parents like Vince, he’s not exactly the husband they’d choose for me.”

“What’s wrong with my brother?” Skye’s voice was knife-edged.

“Let me count the ways.” Vince spoke without rancor, but there was something in his eyes that made Skye think he was more upset than he let on. “I don’t live in Chicago. I didn’t go to college. I’m not a professional. I don’t have a lot of money. And . . .”

“And?” Skye hated to ask, afraid she already knew the answer.

“He’s Ca—”

“Caucasian, right?” Skye said half defiantly. “They want you to marry an African-American.”

“Nope.” Loretta’s eyes glinted with equal parts amusement and irritation. “I was going to say he’s Catholic. They want me to marry a Christian.”

“Sheesh. We are, too, Christians.” Without waiting for a response, Skye went on, “Which reminds me, why is Mom okay with you marrying a non-Catholic when she’s having a hissy fit because Wally isn’t Catholic?”

“She likes me better,” Vince teased. “Seriously, I think once Wally’s annulment comes through, she’ll be all right with him.”

“Getting back to you two.” Skye pressed her fingers against her temples. “You’re really going to elope?”

“Yes.” Loretta nodded.

“Neither of us wants a big, fancy wedding.” Vince’s voice was firm. “Especially after what went on with Cousin Riley’s last June.”

Riley’s over-the-top platinum wedding had inconvenienced everyone, caused oodles of hard feelings, and ended in murder.

“You have a point,” Skye conceded. “But you don’t have to go to the other extreme.”

“Look.” Vince drummed his fingers on the coffee table. “It’ll be so much easier this way.”

“We’ll have a party at Christmastime,” Loretta joined in. “It’ll give everyone a chance to get used to each other without the pressure of a wedding.”

“Without a lot of nosy people watching our two families’ every move,” Vince added.

“Okay.” Skye held up her hands in surrender. “I give up. What do you want me to do?”

“We’d like the four of us to fly to Las Vegas the first weekend in October,” Loretta explained. “You and Wally can spend the weekend, or longer if you want, but we’ll come back the following Sunday.”

“And until then,” Vince added, “we need to keep our engagement and the arrangements for the wedding a secret from both families. Which should be easy with Loretta’s folks, probably a little harder with Mom and Dad.”

“You two do realize that if a robin falls within fifty miles of Scumble River, Mom knows about it before its wings quit fluttering?” Skye tilted her head. When they didn’t react, she sighed. “What else do you have on your evil minds?”

“Before Loretta and I come back from the trip, you need to break the news to Mom.” Vince tried to sound casual. “In person.”

“No way.” At that instant, Skye knew that she might as well rejoin the Peace Corps. The only thing that would save her from May’s fury would be living in a foreign country with poor phone service.

“Look, if Mom starts to get suspicious, just give her a whiff of Lysol and tell her your house needs cleaning.” Vince’s eyes gleamed with mischievousness. “That should throw her off the scent for a while.”

“This is so, so much bigger than the favor I had you do for me,” Skye whined.

“You agreed to the deal.”

“And you knew all along what you were going to ask in return, didn’t you?”

“Of course not.” Vince shook his head.

“Right.” Skye didn’t believe him for a second. “I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but I’m getting back at you both for this.”

Vince and Loretta snickered.

“That is, if I live through the experience,” Skye muttered.

“Mom’ll get over it.” Vince patted Skye’s cheek. “You worry too much about her.”

Skye shook her head. Her brother was excellent at existing in the here and now, but he had never been very good with the concept of future consequences. This time, he might regret that. If May missed her only son’s wedding, she wouldn’t let any of them live it down for a long, long time.

CHAPTER 10

Catch-22

Skye had been back inside her house for less than a minute after escorting the newly engaged couple to their car when she heard knocking. Thinking her brother had forgotten something, she ran into the foyer and flung open the door. Instead of Vince demanding his Tupperware container full of leftovers, Simon stood on her porch holding a pizza box.

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought you might not have had a chance to eat today,” Simon explained.