Myth Alliances

"Say," Caitlin perked up, noticing the device in his hands. "Isn't that an InfoDump Mark 16?"

"Yes, it is," Zol beamed. "His name is Coley." With pride, he put it into the littlest Pervect's hands and began to explain all its features. In turn, she showed him her computer. We were all getting along so well, we had forgotten about the object of our presence there.

Oshleen and Paldine put their heads together over a spreadsheet. The two of them compared notes with several of the others, all of whom seemed pleased. They brought the proposed figures to Vergetta.

"Very nice," she nodded. "What with our projected earnings we'll be able to buy out our contracts and go home in no time. Even the Wuhses will prosper, since they're doing the manufacture. I've been dying to throw out the line of tea towels for a year."

"We could be home in time for the spring fashion line," Oshleen sighed.

"But what about us?" Wensley asked.

TWENTY-NINE

"It's been real!"

-W. DISNEY

"What about you?" Vergetta echoed. "You Wuhses will be on your own. It's why you brought in the big tough magician and his friends, isn't it?"

"Well," Wensley began, "you ten have been essentially in charge of everything for the last two years. If you pull out and go home, then ... we llapse. We'll go back to the way we were before. Sink into debt." His slitted eyes were wide with fear.

"Then you need a new government," I suggested. "One with backbone."

"Led by whom?" Wensley asked. "Who could possibly step in and tell people how to do what you've been doing?"

I looked straight at him. "You."

His voice rose up into an even more strangled squeak. "Me?"

The Ten look him up and down.

"Why not you?" Tenobia said. "As Wuhses go you've been pretty assertive. You have shown some leadership potential."

"Oh, no," Wensley protested, abashed. "What an unkind thing to say."

"Not where I come from," I stated firmly. "In fact, calling something 'average' is almost an insult. You could be in charge of Wuhs's rebirth."

"Oh, I couldn't."

"Oh, yes, you could," Zol insisted. "Why, with the example of the Pervects before you, you could create a government that all Wuhses would be proud of."

"But they hurt people's feelings, and they step on toes," Wensley complained. "Someone will have to say 'no.'" He looked alarmed. "I don't know if I can do that."

"Sure you could," I informed him.

"My friend," Zol began encouragingly. "You need to reach inside yourself for the resource you showed in going to find Master Skeeve ..."

The Wuhs looked even more alarmed. I stiff-armed him out of the way. "Wait a minute, Zol. This kind of therapy really should be left to a specialist in assertiveness." Zol looked puzzled but Vergetta grinned.

"One side, Honey. Allow me." She took the Wuhs's face between her hands. "Kiddo, starting tomorrow, we're going to reopen both of the old product lines. You guys are going to have to leave behind your old handcrafts, which weren't selling anyhow, and start making anything that our inventors here come up with."

"Well, of course," Wensley agreed, as amiably as anyone could with his cheeks flattened by Perv claws.

"And in the meantime, you are going to take lessons from us. We're gonna teach you how to think like a Per-vect, walk like a Pervect, talk like a Pervect, and above all... eat like a Pervect. Think about it! What could add more fire to the belly than a real, honest Pervish meal? Once you can muscle a bowl of Potage St. Auugh down your throat, handling a bunch of Wuhses who want to spend your money on a complete set of last year's Super-bowl tickets should be a piece of cake. What do you think? I can go and rustle up some stew right now."

"You're too kind." Wensley gasped at the very thought of Pervish food. "Really, it's very considerate of you to think of my nutritional needs, but I'm sure there must be another way to instill the virtues ..."

"Doesn't put the lead in your pencil the same way, Sonny. Should I go get some for you? You can eat it right here. I insist. You'll love it."

Wensley seemed to be going through the most incredible internal discomfort. He wriggled and squirmed, but Vergetta had a firm hold on him. Gradually his protest worked its way up to his mouth. A nasal hum emerged.

"Nnn..."

"What?"

"... Nnn ... nnn ..."

"I can't hear you!" Vergetta bellowed, leaning close. "What did you say?"

"Nnn ... nnn ... nno ... No!" Wensley shouted. His eyes flew wide at his own boldness. "I did it! I said no!"

Vergetta wore a smug smile. "Once. You said no once. But you'll get used to it."

"Excellent!" Zol exclaimed. "There, do you see? And every time you need to say no in the future, you can picture this lady's most impressive persuasion."

"Congratulations," Charilor cheered, slapping him soundly on the back. "You're president."

"Oh, I can't be. That will take consultation with all of the other committees. They may have views they wish to offer..."