Mything Persons

ing a wide-brimmed hat and sunglasses.

"These? These are my work clothes," he said

32 Robert Asprin

proudly. "They're functional as well as decorative."

"They're what?"

"What I mean is, not only do people find 'em in-

timidating, the trench coat has all these little pockets in-

side, see? That's where I carry my hardware."

"But...."

"Hi, Hot Stuff. Nice outfit, Guido."

"Thanks! I was just telling the Boss here about it."

Massha was dressed ... or should I say undressed in

her work clothes. A brief vest struggled to cover even

part of her massive torso, while an even briefer bottom

was on the verge of surrendering its battle completely.

"Ummm ....assha?" I said carefully. "I've always

meant to ask. Why don't you... ummm... wear

more?"

"I like to dress cool when we're going into a hot situa-

tion," she winked. "You see, when things speed up, I

get a little nervous... and the only thing worse than

havin' a fat broad around is havin' a sweaty fat broad

around."

"I think it's a sexy outfit," Guido chimed in. "Re-

minds me of the stuff my old man's moll used to wear."

"Well thanks. Dark and Deadly. I'd say your old

man had good taste ... but I never tasted him."

I studied them thoughtfully as they shared a laugh

over Massha's joke. Any hope of a quiet infiltration of

this unknown dimension was rapidly disintegrating.

Either Guido or Massha alone was eye-catching, but

together they were about as inconspicuous as a circus

parade and an army maneuver sharing the same road.

Then it occurred to me that, not knowing what things

were like where we were heading, they might fit in and /

would stand out. It was a frightening thought. If every-

body there looked like this....

I forced the thought from my mind. No use scaring

MYTH-ING PERSONS 33

myself any more than I had to before there was in-

formation to back it up. What was important was that

my two assistants were scared. They were trying hard

not to show it, but in doing so, each was dropping into

old patterns, slipping behind old character masks.

Guido was playing his "tough gangster" bit to the hilt,

while Massha was once more assuming her favorite

"vamp" character with a vengeance. The bottom line,

though, was that, scared or not, they were willing to

back my move or die trying. It would have been touch-

ing, if it weren't for the fact that it meant they were

counting on me for leadership. That meant I had to stay

calm and confident... no matter how scared I felt my-

self. It only occurred to me as an afterthought that, in

many ways, leadership was the mask / was learning to

slip behind when things got tight. It made me wonder

briefly if anyone ever really knew what they were doing

or felt truly confident, or if life was simply a mass game

of role-playing.

"Okay. Are we ready?" I asked, shrugging off my

wandering thoughts. "Massha? Got your jewelry?"

"Wearing most of it, and the rest is right here," she

said, patting the pouch on her belt.

While I will occasionally make snide mental com-

ments about my apprentice's jewelry, it serves a dual

purpose. Massha's baubles are in reality a rather exten-

sive collection of magical gimmicks she has accumulated

over the years. How extensive? Well, before she signed

on as my apprentice to learn real magic, she was holding

down a steady job as the magician for the city-state of

Ta-hoe on the dimension of Jahk solely on the strength

of her collected mechanical "powers." While I agreed

with Aahz that real magic was preferable to mechanical

in that it was less likely to malfunction (a lesson learned

from first-hand experience) I sure didn't mind having

Robert Asprin

34 MYTH-ING PERSONS 35

her arsenal along for back-up.

"You know that tracking ring? The one you used to

find the king? Any chance there's an extra tucked away

in your pouch?"

"Only have the one," she said, waggling the ap-

propriate finger.

I cursed mentally, then made the first of what I feared

would be many unpleasant decisions on this venture.

"Give it to Nunzio. Tananda and Chumley will need

it to find us."

"But if we leave it behind, how are we going to find

your partner?"

"We'll have to figure out something, but we can't

afford to divide our forces. Otherwise, even if we get

Aahz, we could still end up wandering around out there

trying to find the other half of the rescue team."

"If you say so. Hot Stuff," she grimaced, handing

over the ring, "but I hope you know what you're

doing."

"So do I, Massha, so do I. Okay, gang, let's see what

our backyard is really like!"

From the outside, our place looked a lot more impres-

sive than the side that showed in the Bazaar. It really did

look like a castle ... a rather ominous one at that,

squatting alone on a hilltop. I really didn't study it too

close, though, beyond being able to recognize it again

for our trip out. As might be expected, my main atten-

tion was focused on the new dimension itself.

"Kinda dark, ain't it."

Guide's comment was more statement than question,

and he was right.

Wherever we were, the lighting left a lot to be desired.

At first I thought it was night, which puzzled me, as so