Mything Persons

never really paused to consider how formidable our

4 Robert Asprin

operation must look from the outside. Viewing it now

through a stranger's eyes, I found myself more than a

little pleased. Considering the dubious nature of my

beginning, we had built ourselves quite a reputation

over the last few years.

I had been serious when I told Aliman that I didn't

have much faith in magicians. My own reputation was

overrated to say the least, and if I was being billed as a

powerful magician, it made the others of my profession

more than a little suspect in my eyes. After several years

of seeing the inside of the magic business, I was starting

to wonder if any magician was really as good as people

thought.

I was so wrapped up in these thoughts as I entered our

humble tent that I had completely forgotten that I was

suppoised to be sneaking in. I was reminded almost im-

mediately.

The reminder came in the form of a huge man who

loomed up to block my path. "Boss," he said in a

squeaky little voice that was always surprising coming

from such a huge body, "you shouldn't ought to go out

alone like that. How many times we got to tell you...."

"It's all right, Nunzio," I said, trying to edge around

him. "I just ducked out to get some breakfast. Want a

bagel?"

Nunzio was both unconvinced and undaunted in his

scolding.

"How are we supposed to be your bodyguards if you

keep sneaking off alone every chance you get? Do you

know what Don Bruce would do to us if anything hap-

pened to you?"

"C'mon, Nunzio. You know how things are here at

the Bazaar. If the Deveels see me with a bodyguard, the

price of everything goes through the ceiling. Besides, I

MYTH-ING PERSONS 5

like being able to wander around on my own once in a

while."

"You can afford the higher prices. What you can't

afford is to set yourself up as a target for every bozo

who wants the rep of bagging the Great Skeeve."

I started to argue, but my conversation with Aliman

flashed across my mind. Nunzio was right. There were

two sides to having a reputation. If anyone believed the

rumors at the Bazaar and still meant me harm, they

would muster such firepower for the attempt that my

odds for survival would be nonexistent.

"Nunzio," I said slowly, "you may be right, but in

all honesty what could you and Guido do to stop a

magical attack on me?"

"Not a thing," he said calmly. "But they'd probably

try to knock off your bodyguards first, and that might

give you time to get away or hit them yourself before

they could muster a second attack."

He said it easily, like you or I might say "The sun

rises in the east," but it shook me. It had never really

occurred to me how expendable bodyguards are, or how

readily they accept the dangers of their profession.

"I'll try to remember that in the future," I said with a

certain degree of grave humility. "What's more, I think

I owe you and Guido an apology. Where is Guido,

anyway?"

"Upstairs arguing with His Nibbs," Nunzio grinned.

"As a matter of fact, I was looking for you to break it

up when I found you had snuck out again."

"Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

"What for? There's no rush. They'll be arguing until

you get there. I figured it was more important to con-

vince you to quit going out alone."

I groaned a little inside, but I had learned long ago the

6 Robert Asprin

futility of arguing priorities with Nunzio.

"Well, thanks again for the advice, but I'd better get

upstairs before those two kill each other."

With that I headed across the courtyard for the foun-

tain stairs to our offices....

Courtyard? Fountain stairs?

What happened to the humble tent I was walking into

a minute ago?

Weelll... I said I was a magician, didn't I? Our little

stall at the Bazaar is bigger on the inside than it is on the

outside. Lots bigger. I've lived in royal palaces that

weren't as big as our "humble tent." I can't take any

credit for this particular miracle, though, other than the

fact that it was my work that helped earn us our current

residence. We live here rent-free courtesy of the Devan

Merchants Association as partial payment for a little

job we did for them a while back. That's also how I got

my bodyguards ... but that's another story,

Devan Merchants Association, you ask? Okay. For

the uninitiated, I'll go over this just once. The dimen-

sion I'm currently residing in is Deva, home of the

shrewdest deal-drivers in all the known dimensions. You

may have heard of them. In my own home dimension

they were called devils, but I have since learned the

proper pronunciation is Deveels. Anyway, my gracious

living quarters are the result of my partner and I beating

the Deveels at their own game ... which is to say we got

the better of them in a deal. Don't tell anyone, though.

It would ruin their reputation and maybe even cost me a

cushy spot. You see, they still don't know they've been

had.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Heading for the of-;

fices. Normally after sneaking out 1 would stop by the

stables to share breakfast with Gleep, but with a crisis

on my hands I decided to forgo the pleasure of my pet's