Nano Bytes

«Definitely. Software engineering is one big word puzzle. Computing programming is a lot like using a language, you know.»

«Really?»

«Yeah. And I always loved learning new languages. Figuring out the internal logic of the system, the new terms.»

«That's…your full of amazing surprises, aren't you?» It’s at that moment that I know that there’s something between us.

* * *

Later, I’m working in my lab. Day is sliding into what passes into evening here. As I get up from bending over a micro splitter, I realize that my workday should have ended hours ago. Sometimes, I get lost in my work. But it’s not like it matters. No one is waiting for me to come home.

I’m a woman alone for the first time since I was 18, and I know that I’m scared shitless of being alone and having to get to know myself as an adult. Whenever I return to my tiny sleeping quarters on the station, the hours seemed stretch out. The place is filled with silence.

And so that night, I don’t go back to my place. I go to Stephan’s pod–like quarters instead. When he invites me in, we both know what’s about to happen. At least, I think we do. It’s not until we’re sitting next to each other on the couch, my hands in his and his lips on mine, that he pulls away.

«I’m not sure we should do this,” he says breathlessly.

«Why not? Did you leave someone on Earth?»

«Sort of.»

«Sort of? Is she waiting for you?» I knew the feeling of leaving someone behind on Earth. But I could only imagine what it would be like to have that person wait for me to return. No one’s waiting for my return after this three–year term.

«I don’t know. We didn’t exactly leave it on positive or even really…established terms, okay?»

«Okay.» I’m beginning to comprehend that he really doesn’t have anyone back on Earth. Not in any way that he can rely on. «Well, I guess I can leave, if that’s what you want?» I get up off the couch and back towards the door. He watches me go, a deep sadness pouring from his small eyes. But it’s not until I’ve opened his door and escaped into the hall that he says anything.

«No. Wait.» He comes and takes my hand. «Stay.» He draws me into his quarters, closing the flimsy pocket door behind me.

* * *

It becomes a soothing habit for me. I spend every night at Stephan’s quarters and every lunch break in his company. It means that I can ignore the fact that I’m alone. But we never talk about it. One night, I suddenly feel the urge to define what we are to each other.

I’m lying in his arms with only his thin sheet covering us. The round windows of his quarters have their shutters drawn up, and I can see clearly across the dusty, grey wasteland of the Asteroid. We’ll never be able to venture out to explore that landscape.

I turn to look at his face. The sunlight coming through the windows falls in a bright semicircle across his features. He’s looking up at the ceiling, his eyes half closed.

«Hey, Stephan?» I venture to break the silence. «This is…it’s just an asteroid thing, right? You and me, I mean.»

He turns his head towards the window, where there are no clouds to obscure the Milky Way and the cosmos beyond. «Yeah. Sure. If that’s what you want.»

«But what do you want?»

He smiles. «I guess we’ll always have 433.»

The statement startles me. I prop myself up on an elbow to get a better look at his expression. «Are you a romantic, Stephan?»

He smiles at me. «Who, me? Nah. Never.»

* * *

I push his words from my mind. I don’t think about them again until the next day, when I rush into the staff lunchroom at one o’clock and find it empty.

As I eat alone, I’m terrified that he’s becoming attached to me. It’s not allowed. This is just a fling — just a way to get over Anders while I spend my time on this rock.

Forty–five minutes pass, and he still doesn’t appear. My heart sinks and I realize that maybe I needed to define what we are for my sake. Maybe I’m the one who’s getting attached.

Just then, Bill enters the room. The miners don’t usually eat up here — mostly it’s only Stephan and I, since Grayson is always far to busy with work to talk to us. But I’m shaken back to reality by Bill’s entrance.

Bill is a middle–aged man with short, dyed–blonde hair. I can tell by his provincial accent that he isn't as educated as Stephan and I, but he’s smart enough to work here. This is, after all, where the money is nowadays.

He’s handsome and charismatic, with lines around his eyes from working on the sunny surface of the asteroid most of his time. The mineshaft is encapsulated within an air–tight dome, complete with artificial climate and artificial gravity. But the sun always comes blazing through.

«Hey, Will.» He calls me by the nickname that most of the technicians favor. I hate it. It’s as if they think of me as their own children, who could be in the same situation as me on an asteroid like 1036 Ganymed. That’s what I tell myself. Either way, I’m annoyed every time they call me pet names.

«Hey, Bill. How are you?»