Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

I hand him the phone and the driver talks to Thom, figures out where he is and how to get him home to my place in Englewood Cliffs, then hands the phone back to me. "Here, Thom wants to talk to you again."

"Hi again," I say into the phone.

I hear Thom's giggle. "So how is it going? How was the date with Nick? You love him, right?"

"It's been great. We're getting married."

"Really? Can I talk to him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I have no idea where he is." I click off the cell.

We're at the restaurant. "You coming in?" I ask the driver. "Borscht and pierogies are on me."

He smiles at me. His daughters must have some really nice family portraits from Sears hanging in their house. "Thanks, but I'm a working man. Got to keep working. You keep the Kleenex, though."

I take the box of Kleenex out of the car and give the driver my hundred-dollar bill, the whole of my emergency cab money Dad placed in the secret crevice of my wallet. I only have enough money left in my wallet for something to eat and to take the bus back to Englewood Cliffs, so I'll have to hang out at the restaurant for a couple hours until the bus service is running again.

A crazy lady stands at the restaurant entrance, holding a Chock full o'Nuts tin can, the Wicked Witch of the Stank. She eyeballs me, zeroing in on my chest area. Maybe she knows something about those vitamin supplements. She tells me, "Salvatore is looking for you."

I reach back into the jacket pocket for the crumpled ten-dollar bill. I donate Nick's tunnel money into the witch's can.

"No, he's not," I assure her.

13. NICK

Life fails. Songs don't always.

I'm on the curb. Taking it all in, including the nothing. Where I am, how I am, who I am, what I'm not.

It starts to come to me.

on Ludlow

the world goes so slow

all the things I don't know

closing in

on Ludlow

the sidewalk shadow

keeps pleading don't go

but you won't hear

Alright, Nick. Louder.

WHO WILL APOLOGIZE FOR HOW

WE ARE?

WHO WILL NAVIGATE WHEN WE'VE

GONE THIS FAR?

ANSWER ME

ANSWER THIS

ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS THAT

I'M TOO AFRAID TO ASK

ON LUDLOW

YOU LET ME KNOW

AND I LET YOU GO

AND WE WERE WRONG WRONG

WRONG

ON LUDLOW

THERE'S A SHADOW

THAT LETS THE TRUTH SHOW

AND WE WERE WRONG WRONG

WRONG

NEVER AGAIN

IS WHAT I ALWAYS SAY

NEVER AGAIN

IS WHAT I ALWAYS SAY

NEVER AGAIN

IS WHAT I ALWAYS SAY

Take it back down.

on Ludlow

it's just a stone's throw

from where we could go

to where we are

on Ludlow

find me on Ludlow

on Ludlow

find me here-

"Dude! That's pretty kickass!"

Dev slaps me on the back and sits next to me, his hair a ball of dance-induced sweat, the moisture making his shirt fit even tighter than when it began the night.

"You're not in there for Where's Fluffy?"

"Nah. Needed to take a break. You think it's easy being the cutest damn underage lead singer on the queercore scene? I can't work it all the time, man."

"Where's Randy?"

"Who?"

"Randy."

"Huh?"

"From Are You Randy? You were, uh, with him before?"

"Oh! You mean Ted! He'll be out in a few. Wanted to dance off the last song. Isn't he high voltage?"

Dev's got his mischievous, smitten gleam in his eye, so I nod in agreement. Sometimes Dev only has the mischievousness, and none of the smittenosity-that's when I usually worry about the other guy's heart. But when Dev gets bitten by the swoony bug, I know it isn't just sex that he's after.

"So where's Tris?" he asks now.

"Inside. Why?"

"I dunno. I figured you two would be together."

"Dev-Tris and I broke up like four weeks ago."

"Fuck! I totally forgot. Sorry, man."

"No problem."

Dev looks at me for a moment, then smacks his forehead.

"Wait! There's another girl tonight, isn't there? I saw you, like, groping."

"You could say that."

"I just did!"

"What?"

"Say that. I could, and I did."

This, for Dev, is what usually passes as genius.

Now he puts his arm around me, snuggles in. He loves to do this, and I never really mind. It's not sexual so much as comforting.

"My poor straight-edge straightboy," he says. "Nobody should be alone on a night like this."

"But I have you, Dev," I reply, trying to lighten things up.

"Ain't that the truth. At least until Ted comes back."

"I know."

"You know what it's all about, Nick?"

"What what's all about?"

"It, Nick. What it's all about."

"No."

"The Beatles."

"What about The Beatles?"

"They nailed it."

"Nailed what?"

"Everything."

"What do you mean?"

Dev takes his arm and puts it right against mine, skin to skin, sweat on sweat, touch on touch. Then he glides his hand into mine and intertwines our fingers.

"This," he says. "This is why The Beatles got it."

"I'm afraid I'm not following-"

"Other bands, it's about sex. Or pain. Or some fantasy. But The Beatles, they knew what they were doing. You know the reason The Beatles made it so big?"

"What?"