Nightmare Carnival

Mary the Magnificent and Lila the Bearded Lady took me into their trailer to get ready for the “dinner and a séance” portion of my upcoming date with Beasley. I had doubts about Mary — her spine was so twisted with muscle she hunched; her hands were enormous and rough as cobs. Nonetheless, she could’ve had a chair in a Beverly Hills salon if the magic she worked on my snarled mane with a jug of warm water and a washtub was any indicator. After bathing and styling came the glamour detailing. I’m okay with makeup, though I don’t usually apply much, if any. The ladies laid it on thick. Lila took charge, and she too exhibited a deft touch. After the detailing, they put me into a dress that would’ve done well for a night on the town visiting swanky 1960s hotspots. White and flowing, open in back and slit up to here on the side. Entirely too seductive for supper in a carnival tent in the middle of nowhere, Montana.

When they finally handed me a mirror I gasped.

The ladies’ reflections smiled at one another. I turned my head and dark clouds descended.

“Lila and I ran away from the circus,” Mary said. “This is where we landed.”

“A grave mistake,” Lila said. “Carnivals are much direr.”

“Because of the psycho killers?” I admired my cleavage. “Or because this one killed the clowns? Seriously, what gives? I’ve hunted high and low and seen nary a trace. Isn’t that carnival sacrilege?”

Mary smiled venomously.

“Scoff. We thought the curse was a joke too. Bitterly, bitterly we’ve learned otherwise. We are trapped.”

“Someone should do something,” I said, dry as toast.

“We’ve tried,” Lila said. “This is beyond our reckoning.”

“It’s not beyond mine. People’s heads are getting severed. Kinda physical for a ghost.”

“Perhaps you are an expert in this area,” Lila said.

“I straighten horseshoes with my bare hands. I can lift a grand piano on my back.” Mary flexed her massive biceps. “Even I could not hope to confront the terror in the hills and survive.”

“Run,” Lila said. “And don’t look back. You aren’t a part of this yet.”

“She won’t run. Ever seen a more stubborn jaw? Our friend is a warrior. She will fight.”

“Who’s out there?” I said. “Really, no bullshit.”

“Some sort of Jungian manifestation,” Lila said. “The shadow personified.”

“Baby, that’s the best description I’ve ever heard.” Mary kissed the bearded lady’s cheek. “Whatever the truth, don’t mess with it, it’ll turn you to mincemeat.”

“A shadow? Here I thought we were dealing with the wolf man. Silver bullets, belladonna, all that jazz.” I sighed. “Come on. I’ve seen the horrible shit man does to man. No need for werewolves or shadow monsters.”

They exchanged unhappy glances.

“A shadow personified,” Lila said, emphasizing each word. “Whether it’s man or beast is irrelevant for it is most certainly a distilled and concentrated horror that exists on the edge of human experience. Tread lightly.”

Mary lifted my dress and strapped a stiletto in its sheath to my thigh. Snugged it against the stocking. All right, that improved my mood.

“Your Ka-Bar is a good blade. Won’t help. Mine is cold iron and it has been blessed. Doubt it’ll help either. Still, you’re okay. I like you.”

“See you two at the event, I guess.”

“No,” Lila said. “We’ve decided to skip this one. Good luck, Ms. Jessica.”

“Remember to take off those heels if you need to start running,” Mary said.

“Don’t try to teach your grandma to suck eggs,” I said.

I thanked them and tottered out the door.

Benson Gallows handed me a bag with scads of rolled hundred- dollar bills stuffed inside. I stuffed the bag under Beasley’s bunk and we gathered to head for the big top and supper. The boys could spin whatever fantasy they liked. Made no difference to me. Besides, I trusted Beasley, insomuch as I trust anyone. More importantly, I trusted myself and the derringer I’d swiped from his footlocker and slipped into my sweet little handbag.

Beasley and the Gallows brothers carefully explained my duties, which were negligible, considering the amount of dough they parted with to secure my participation. They assured me that all aspects of the ritual had been assiduously researched and rehearsed. As long as I followed my cues, events would unfold smoothly. In some respects this seemed similar to the slavish preparations of hardcore Civil War reenactors. Except for the actual pile of human heads and assorted parts in the back forty.

“I’ll be out in the field tonight, just in case.” Beasley had squeezed into a cream-colored number, slicked his hair down, the whole bit.

“In case of what?”

“Uh, in case you run into a rabid coyote.”

“Or a rabid elk,” I said. “Mary and Lila seem to think—”

“Those broads are eccentric,” Beasley said.

“This is a carnival. What else would they be?”

“Yeah, well, even for a carnival.” He offered his arm.