No Business of Mine

“Now I turn up,” I continued. “Bradley was going to the mortuary to identify the body, so was I. Corridan had to work fast. He arranged for one of his men to move the body from the mortuary to the cottage at Lakeham. This was for my benefit as I had found the envelope addressed to Anne Scott, and had jumped to the conclusion that Anne was Netta’s sister. I was allowed a glimpse of the body, then it was taken to the Horsham mortuary and destroyed by fire before Bradley could see it. Got all that?”

“Complicated, but smart,” Ullman said, nodding his head. “Then what?”

Bix groaned. “You’re a whale for punishment,” he said, sneaking my whisky and drinking it before I could stop him. “Me — I’ve had about enough.”

“The next bit’s interesting,” I promised. “It shows how clever I am.”

“We’d better stay for that,” Bix said to Crystal, “otherwise he’ll stick us for the check.”

“Bradley had given Netta five thousand pounds’ worth of bonds as a wedding present,” I went on. “He was anxious to get the money back. Frankie had been into the flat and had hunted for the bonds but had failed to find them. I found them, and suspecting that I had them, Frankie attacked me, but I beat him off.”

“You can imagine how pleased Corridan was when I presented him not only with the bonds but also with the Luger,” I continued. “He cooked up a yarn about the bonds being forgeries, and that the Luger belonged to a guy called Peter Utterly. Fred checked all this, found there was no such person as Utterly, and more important still that there was no such person as Anne Scott, although Corridan had told me her record was in Somerset House.”

“I have two profound observations to make at this point,” Harry Bix broke in. “The first is that Corridan seems to have made a complete monkey out of you, and the second is that Fred seems to have done all the dirty work.”

I nodded, grinned. “Correct,” I said. “Applause for Mr. Ullman.”

Crystal was so carried away that she kissed Ullman, who blinked at her, wiped off the lipstick, said, “Well, that’s quite an experience. Perhaps I’ve been missing things. The only woman who ever kissed me was my mother.”

“You ought to be sorry for her,” Crystal said. “But I do like the taste of your shaving cream.”

“Shut up, you two,” Bix said, scowling.

“To continue,” I said firmly. “The real give-away as far as Corridan was concerned was the murder of Madge Kennitt. I saw him after I had left Madge’s flat to get her a bottle of whisky. I spotted Corridan outside the house, then when I returned I found Madge dead. She had written Jacobi’s name in the dust, hoping it would give me a clue, which, of course, it did. Corridan arrived with his dicks, spotted the writing and blotted it out, hoping I hadn’t seen it.”

“But you had,” Bix said. “Let’s have some more whisky. The excitement is making me feel faint.”

“I’d seen it all right,” I went on, ignoring him, “and Fred put me on to the facts of the Jacobi case. Merryweather, the private dick I had hired, told Corridan that a black and yellow Bentley car had been seen at the cottage. I’ve traced the car to Corridan. He realized that he’d have to get rid of it, and sold it to a guy called Peter French. I happened to call on French and see the car, and Corridan found out that I’d seen it. He got Netta to try to persuade me that French was the killer of Madge Kennitt and I nearly fell for it.

“Well, the pace was getting too hot for Corridan. He decided to get the loot out of the country. I could help there, and Netta was the obvious choice to carry the stuff. Corridan had a showdown with Bradley, told him Netta was alive, and she was to take the loot to America. Bradley didn’t like the idea, but Corridan had too much on him to raise objections. The loot was handed over to Netta, and she began to work on me. I played into their hands by taking Bradley’s rings, and then getting myself hooked up with Littlejohns’ murder. Cole helped by pretending to blackmail me, and I played it to look as if I was being stampeded to leave the country.”

“I believe the end’s in sight,” Crystal said, sighing with relief.

“It is,” I said. “I arranged with Harry to kid Netta into thinking he would fly us to the States...”

“And a very fine job I made of it, too,” Bix said, beaming.

“I gave O’Malley the facts and he nabbed Cole, and laid a trap for Corridan. As luck would have it, Corridan heard that Cole had been arrested and guessed something had gone wrong with his plans. He took a chance and came on to Madge’s flat just as Netta and I were about to leave for the airport. I think his idea was to knock me off and get Netta to persuade Harry to take her and Corridan to the States.”

“As if I would,” Bix said scornfully.

“Anyway, O’Malley was listening in and Corridan walked into the trap,” I concluded. “If those two don’t swing, I’ll be surprised.”

“You mean you thought all that out without any help?” Crystal said, gazing at me with unconcealed admiration. “I’m proud of you, precious. I should never have thought it of you.”