No Contest

“Hush and heed. Yeou Gang was a simpleton. He learned what he must know to be Master, and he memorized the history and lessons of Sinanju, but never could he truly understand the meaning of these lessons. Yeou Gang and his mentor, Master Ghu Ung, traveled to the lands along the Nile. Reluctantly did they go, for the monarchy was in a strange state. And yet, Master Ghu Ung knew that unsettled empires often yield the most opportunity for an assassin. In Kemet, King Merenre was dead, and the child, Pepi II, was pharaoh. His mother was regent, Ankhenespepi II, who was the widow of two kings, Pepi and Merenre. Although she was not a pharaoh, she was a skilled ruler and the power of the throne was with her. She was shortsighted, for in the end her determination to rule as a pharaoh and claim the immortality of a pharaoh unsettled the people, poisoning their convictions in their gods. Her son ruled long enough to see Kemet break apart under this stress, and for generations afterward it was ununified. Still, that is not the point of the story. Why do your eyes glaze?”

“Just trying to keep them all straight in my head. What is the point?”

Chiun glared. “I am only just beginning to tell it. Allow me to relate the story at the proper pace. Our history is not like some fast and furious television entertainment that must move every eight heartbeats from one thrill to the next.”

“Sorry.”

“Master Ghu Ung appraised the situation, as did Master Yeou Gang. Yeou Gang was determined to seek employment with the boy king Pepi II. As pharaoh, Yeou Gang reasoned, Pepi II controlled the treasuries of Kemet.”

“Sounds reasonable to—”

“Yeou Gang was a fool. It was obvious to all save Pepi II that he was just a symbolic king at that time. The regent was the true ruler of Kemet. Master Ghu Ung and young Master Yeou Gang introduced themselves in the court, where they were well received, of course. Ghu Ung deemed it wise to exercise patience, so as to better learn the subtleties of the power sharing and to see what events the arrival of Sinanju Masters might cause to happen. Yeou Gang was eager to peddle their services and earn his first profits as Reigning Master. When the boy king began subtle overtures to the Masters, Ghu Ung stalled him.”

Remo nodded. “Playing hard to get. Drives up the price. Smart move.”

“A foolish mistake. The boy king lost interest, for he was only playing the game of ruling the nation. He knew not the seriousness of his role. The woman regent, Ankhenespepi, hired them for much gold, although less than perhaps the boy king might have paid if negotiations were skillfully done.

“Ghu Ung did not recognize the libidinous nature of the regent, nor the adolescent cravings of his protégé, who was not yet in his sixth decade and quite immature. Thus, Ghu Ung blindly agreed to take service with the regent. For Ankhenespepi, the masters were of great service, ridding the court of those who sought an opportunity to remove her and take her place, knowing that this boy king was malleable.”

Chiun looked at Remo meaningfully.

“I’m waiting for the punch line,” Remo said.

“You see how this service was right and correct.”

“And good and kind. They acted like most proper Masters. But…?”

“Ankhenespepi came to young Master Yeou Gang and begged of him the favors of the flesh. Yeou Gang gifted her with these favors, but Ankhenespepi was not sated. On the contrary, she beseeched Yeou Gang to remain in Kemet as her consort. Yeou Gang declined.

“Ankhenespepi asked if he was not attracted to her. Yeou Gang replied that he was. She asked Yeou Gang if he had met more beautiful women in his travels.

“Yeou Gang knew the lessons of protocol taught to him by Ghu Ung, but he did not understand these lessons. He knew he must flatter the great rulers who hire the Masters, but he did not have the intellect to know when to hold his tongue. He assured the regent that she was by far the most beautiful woman he had ever encountered.

“The regent pressed Yeou Gang further. She asked, the young Master if there were women in Sinanju more skilled at lovemaking than she. Again, Yeou Gang told Ankhenespepi what he thought she wanted to hear, assuring her that she was unparalleled at lovemaking.”

“Was she?” Remo asked.

“It does not matter,” Chiun replied.

“Yeah, it matters. You’re condemning Yeou Gang for what he said, but maybe he was telling her the truth.”

“What he said was foolish, regardless of what he believed, because in saying it he gave Ankhenespepi a tool of coercion against which he could not argue. She made him say the words, then weighted him down with his own words until they became his conviction.”

“Give the poor guy the benefit of the doubt. Why shouldn’t he tell the truth?”

“Have you heard nothing I have said to you, all these many years, about the art of negotiation?” Chiun demanded. “Only a fool tells the truth to his employer. Surely you know this lesson, from recitation if not from practice.”

“I know my lessons better than you think.”