Nowhere People

‌

two sounds

That second time, Spectre would have to be something he’s not been up to now: attentive, patient. ‘So, you’re the guy in the mask? Your father would be proud,’ he said with irony. ‘You think so?’ the Guy retorted. ‘This little spectacle of yours is ridiculous … I hope it’s worth it.’ Spectre knew what to do to provoke the Guy. ‘And do you have the diary of the Indian who killed herself to hand?’ he asked. ‘In this folder here on the table … ’ was the Guy’s response. ‘You still don’t understand,’ Spectre was trying to be friendly. ‘All there is in the exercise book are the scrawls of a brainless girl who fell in love with a coward … I’m not even sure how to describe a cretin who gets a fifteen-year-old Indian girl pregnant then vanishes into thin air … ’ The Guy sat down next to him. ‘His name’s written there. You can see the Indian girl crossed out his name wherever it appears,’ said the Guy, and he put his arm round Spectre’s shoulders. Spectre took a note out of his pocket and handed it to the Guy, saying: ‘Just don’t read it now. Wait till you’re a long way from me before reading this crap.’

‌

wings drawn back

Ten to eleven at night. Donato wakes up. The experience has drained him.

The straw has chafed his skin and, in some places, rubbed it raw. Right, so now he is an ailing kind of superhero. Fine. He turns on his computer, still unsure whether he found what the girl wrote on the mask funny. PROPERTY OF CIRCUS CATARINA. He types what she wrote into Google, follows the link to a blog, but not hers, hers is a different one that’s called just Catarina; he finds this only after he has typed the same search terms into Google using the Images category. A lot of photos of her. The girl is a local celebrity, the youngest in a family that created and exported ballerinas all over the world. There is a recent post on the blog under the title FRIEND with the word ‘watch’ linking to a page on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EYmwfoa1mE. She had filmed him on the pavement at DMAE. At the end of the video there is a telephone number. He gets his phone, then pauses, wondering whether he really ought to call.

Catarina gets onto the social networks, the chat functions of her email providers, the instant audio and video message programs to see which of her contacts are online, hoping to find one in particular, one whose status has shown ‘offline’ for a while. She has created the world around her with no great difficulty, she has been doing this for years, but right now, on this really strange day, she doesn’t know what to do. Eleven-thirty at night. She gets up from her desk, takes off her clothes, goes to the bathroom, puts on the shower cap, she takes care to cover her ears, steps into the cubicle, turns on the shower, closes her eyes, lets the water splash onto her forehead. She hears her phone ringing. She finishes showering. Five to midnight. Phone in her hand. A missed call from an unfamiliar number. She calls back. ‘Hello? Someone called my phone from this number,’ she says. There is no answer. ‘Look, I’m not in the mood. Tell me who this is, or I’m hanging up,’ irritated. ‘You are almost weirder than I am,’ comes the voice from the other end. Catarina hangs up, throws her phone onto the bed. She puts on her nightie. She thinks a moment. She picks up her phone. Calls again. ‘Hello,’ the voice replies. ‘You got one extra chance, asshole, this is your last shot, are you going to tell me who you are or aren’t you?’ ‘I’m the guy in the wooden mask you wrote your little funnies on.’ ‘I never expected you to call so quickly, I didn’t even expect you to look me up at all.’ She’s all set to explain herself. ‘Look, I wanted … ’ He interrupts her. ‘To say you’re sorry for your joke?’ She goes on. ‘I was going to write down the phone number and then … well, ok, I admit it: it was just me wanting to be annoying. Today wasn’t one of my best days, I got some news yesterday that unsettled me. But I don’t know why I’m telling this to a complete stranger.’ Another silence. ‘I’m not usually a joker … ’ and she feels the conversation is about to go off the rails. ‘I called to say that tomorrow I’m going to be outside the Sheraton Hotel. At three in the afternoon,’ he says. ‘Anything else?’ she asks. ‘I wanted to thank you for your attention this afternoon. You were generous. Today was the first time I’ve worn the mask. I thought it would be easier.’ Catarina is disarmed. ‘What you’re doing is very brave … ’ He interrupts her. ‘The mask scared me just as much as it scares everyone else … You arrived in time for me to understand that I shouldn’t give up.’ She had meant to conclude her question about what that was all about, then, about what he meant by generous, where he got that chant from that had reached right into her soul and petrified her, but she stayed silent for a moment, and he hung up.