ODE TO A BANKER

We managed to shed him, though he seemed to want to cling. In the confusion, Helena distracted me from my original purpose and took me on the short walk home with her. `I need to talk to you about those scrolls, Marcus.'

`Stuff the scrolls.'

`Don't be petty. I think you will be interested. Something you told me does not fit.'

I let myself be deflected. Fortune had given me a clear sign that saving my mother from infamy was not required today. Anacrites must have bribed some bored god in the heavenly pantheon.

I growled. Helena refused to be menaced by an informer parading as a mangy bear. `So what's up with the nutty Greek novel, fruit?'

`I thought you told me Passus was enthralled by what he was reading?'

`He could hardly tear himself away.' Except when he saw a chance to embarrass me in the clutches of Vibia… I kept quiet about that.

`Well, Marcus, what you gave me must be different. It's quite, quite dreadful.'

`Oho! So is Passus too easily pleased?'

Helena sounded doubtful. `Different people like different content or writing styles. But I think he must be reading a story by some other writer than mine.'

`Mind you, some people will plod through anything… Passus is a new boy to me. I don't know him well enough to appraise his reading tastes. But he seems sensible. Likes adventure yams, he says. Plenty going on, and not too mushy with the love interest. Would that be too masculine for you, perhaps?'

`I can cope. Anyway, all these stories always have a very romantic view of life…' Helena paused. She liked to tease when I was being too serious. `No, perhaps romance is more masculine. It's men who dream, and long for perfect women and ideal love affairs. Women know the opposite: that life is harsh, and mostly about clearing up the messes men create.'

`Now you sound like Ma.'

As she intended, she had managed to interest me. It was late afternoon, and we were strolling at ease now. The heat of the sun diminished as shadows lengthened, though the day was still bright. Occasional lock-up workshops started opening their shutters. Stallholders were sweeping up squashed figs and sluicing away fishscales and scallopshells.

`So what are we talking about here, sweetheart? Poetic dramas?' `Prose.'

`Oh! Fluff and chaff, you mean.'

`Not at all. Well-written escapism that keeps you, the reader, unrolling the scroll even when your oil-lamp is failing and you are stricken with a crick in your back.'

`Or until you nod off and set fire to your bed?'

`With the best,' Helena reproved me, `you cannot bear to nod off until you finish them.'

`Are silly stories ever that gripping?'

`Oh, the silly ones are the worst in that respect… The stories can be daft, the plots implausible – but the human emotions will be intensely real. You know what we're talking about? Zisimilla and Magarone, the one I'm reading is probably called. You'll have a beautiful girl who is tougher than she looks and a handsome boy who is soppier than she thinks; they meet by chance -'

`Sounds like you and me.'

`No, this is true love.' Helena grinned. `Not a girl losing her concentration for a moment and a man who was at a loose end.' I grinned back, as she continued, `So the couple may marry, or even have their first child. Then their troubles begin. A calamitous accident separates them – after which they both embark on tremendous adventures '

`That's the part Passus likes, presumably.'

`Yes: if the pirates don't get them, the invading army will. The characters each have to spend years searching a wilderness for somebody who believes them dead. Meanwhile the pirates will be trying to rape one of them, but a resourceful slave or a faithful friend will rescue the other, the hero perhaps – though in his grief and solitude he wishes he had perished. Yet still, as he battles with monsters and enchantresses, he clings to hope -'

`Fit, but thick?' I sneered.

`The heroine will be threatened by an unscrupulous rival and doomed unjustly until she wins the respect of a noble king who has captured her, enslaved her, and naturally fallen in love with her modesty, wisdom, steadfastness and shining natural beauty. At last, with the benign care of the deities who unknown to them guard their every step, one day -'

`When the papyrus is about to run out -'

`The couple are reunited amidst tears and amazement. Then they embark on a life of endless happiness.'

`Fabulous!' I chortled. `But the scroll I just gave you doesn't match that standard?'

Helena shook her head. `No. Only the one Passus has, by the sound of it.'

`You've only had yours since lunchtime.'

`I am a fast reader.'

`You cheat!' I accused her. `You skip.'

`Well, I am skipping this one. I dumped the devious brigand and the exotic female temptress – and I was not inclined to dally over the pompous chief priestess. This tale is terrible. I have better things to do.'

'Hmm. This is odd. Chrysippus was, by all accounts, a good businessman. Surely, he would have rejected anything so bad.'