Princess' Diaries

Grandmère just dug around in her purse for her cigarettes. "Now, what did I do with that lighter?" she asked.

"You called them, didn’t you?" I was so mad, I could hardly even see straight. "You called and told them we were coming here."

"Don’t be ridiculous," Grandmère said. "I had no time to call all these people."

"You didn’t have to. You’d just have to call one, and they’d all follow. Grandmère,why?"

Grandmère lit her cigarette. I hate when she smokes in the car. "This is an important part of being a royal, Amelia," she said between puffs. "You must learn to handle the press. Why are you taking on so?"

"You’re the one who told all that stuff to Carol Fernandez." I said it totally calm.

"Of course I did," Grandmère said, with a kind ofSo, what? shrug.

"Grandma," I yelled. "How could you?"

She looked totally taken aback. She said, "Don’t call me Grandma."

"Seriously," I yelled. "Dad thinks Mr. Gianini did it! He and Mom had this totally big fight about it. She said it was you, but he wouldn’t believe her!"

Grandmère blew cigarette smoke out of her nostrils. "Phillipe," she said, "always was incredibly naïve."

"Well," I said, "I’m telling him. I’m telling him the truth."

Grandmère just waved a hand, as if to sayWhatever.

"Seriously," I said. "I’m telling him. He’s going to be really mad at you, Grandmère."

"He won’t. You needed the practice, darling. That piece in thePost was only the beginning. Soon you’ll be on the cover ofVogue, and then—"

"Grandmère!" I yelled. "I DO NOT WANT TO BE ON THE COVER OFVOGUE! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? I JUST WANT TO PASS THE NINTH GRADE!"

Grandmère looked a little startled. "Well, all right, darling, all right. You needn’tshout."

I don’t know how much of that sank in, but after dinner I noticed the reporters had all gone home. So maybe she heard me.

When I got home, Mr. Gianini was here, AGAIN. I had to go into my room to call my dad. I said, "Dad, it was Grandma, not Mr. Gianini, who told Carol Fernandez everything," and he said, "I know," in this miserable way.

"Youknow?" I could hardly believe it. "Youknow, and you haven’t said anything?"

He went, "Mia, your grandmother and I have a very complicated relationship."

He means he’s scared of her. I guess I can’t really blame him, considering the fact that she used to lock him in the dungeon and everything.

"Well," I said, "you could still apologize to Mom for what you said about Mr. Gianini."

He went, still sounding all miserable, "I know."

So I said, "Well? Are you going to?"