Radiance

“I…I like the Anchises you made. He’s better than me. He has a lantern jaw and a mission. And he gets to stand next to Severin. To play a song for her. The way he talked to everyone at the end…I could never talk like that. I’m no good with big groups of people. They frighten me. Everything frightens me. But some things I can frighten back. Mostly kangaroos.” He looks up at the evening coming on, very blue and clotted with stars. “I wish it had never happened, Vince. I wish I’d been a diver. I wish I could have taken care of my parents in their old age. Sometimes I even wish I’d moved Earthside, so I wouldn’t have to eat this shit every day.” He gestures at his ice cream, made from Prithvi Brand Premium Callowmilk. “But if it had to happen, I like what you made better than what I made out of it. I’d like to keep him. I can wear him on Sundays. He got his answer, in the end. I’ll take his, since I never could find mine.”

“He had two. We never filmed the vote. Which one would you choose?”

Anchises St. John finishes his cake. Voices are coming up the walkway toward the house, musical, lilting voices.

“Not much of a choice, is it?” he says. “Erasmo and Cristabel will be here in a moment. They always bring gin. Would you like to stay to dinner?”

Vince takes his scarred hand in hers. She squeezes it. “Very much.”

Goodbye

Look at your hands. The light on them. The light that is a small boy, head bent, turning in circles around your palm. Your fate line. Your heart line. Him.

One of the crewmen shaves in a mirror nailed to a cacao-tree. He catches a glimpse of Severin in his mirror and whirls to catch her up, kissing her and smearing shaving cream on her face. She laughs and punches his arm—he recoils in mock agony. It is a pleasant scene. You have seen it before. You will see it again. It is the best of her you hold in your hands.

There is no such thing as an ending. There are no answers. We collect the pieces where we can, obsessively assemble and reassemble them, searching for a picture that can only ever come in parts. And we cling to those parts. The parts that have been her. The parts that have been you. Your chest, your ribs, your knees. The place where her last image entered and stayed. We have tried to finish Percival’s work—to find the Grail, to ask the correct question. But in some version of the tale, Percival, too, must fail, and so must we, because the story of the Grail is one of failure and always has been. He did not finish his film. We could not finish it for him. There is no elegy for Severin Unck showing in a theatre near you.

But there is a reliquary.

What you have seen in this shadowed room, this quiet corner of a Worlds’ Fair where every tiny rock has sent its best representatives to fly banners and wave, is the body of Severin Unck. All her pieces, laid out for viewing. It does not live—we are not Victor Frankenstein, nor do we wish to be—but it looks like a woman we once knew. Look at her.