“As much as it pains me to say this,” Regina rolled her eyes, “you’re wonderful with Henry. He.. He is spoilt, I know that, he is a wonderfully kind and caring young boy but he is spoilt and he doesn’t always understand the costs of his actions. He loves you very deeply and you are.. necessary in his life. He needs you. And Grace, you’re so good with her,” Regina chuckled to herself, “as strange as it may seem.. I was considering asking you to be her Godmother, in case anything were to happen to me..”
“Or in case you get bored again and decide to give her up..” Emma taunted.
Regina fumed, “I did no such thing.. you understand abandonment so you know exactly how it felt when you took Henry from me! Did you think I didn’t feel the cold and the loneliness that you feel now? The worthlessness, the depression, thinking that you’re not good enough!”
Emma closed her eyes and looked down at her lap, mortified, “I’m sorry, Regina, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Regina took a couple of low, calming breaths, “I think there is probably quite a lot that we both shouldn’t have said. Shouldn’t have done,” she looked over at Emma, “but we’re here now. Blame aside, I want to help you, Emma. Please let me help you..”
Emma laughed bitterly, “how do you propose to do that?”
“Through the knowledge and understanding that you are ill,” Regina admitted, “and that you need treatment.”
“Ill?” Emma frowned and then understanding flooded over her, “oh, you mean.. you mean mentally ill..”
Regina slowly nodded and waited for Emma to sort out her feelings on that subject. Slowly Emma turned to look at her, “I suppose you’re right.. I am.. ill.”
Regina breathed a silent sigh of relief that Emma hadn’t become angered and watched as the blonde took this new information on board, her face twisting slightly. The understanding that this wasn’t just the way it was, that maybe it was something that could be managed, that there could be help to be had.
“I’m not going to see Archie, he’s a cricket,” Emma said firmly and in a manner that made Regina laugh. At hearing the brunette’s laughter Emma looked up in surprise but then mentally played back what she had said and chuckled as well.
“Agreed,” Regina smiled, “but.. you’ll let me help you?”
Emma looked at Regina with confusion, “I don’t know how you can help..”
Regina shrugged, “neither do I but I want to try. I know what it’s like to be surrounded by family but alone, cold and alone. Irrationally feeling like.. like the rug is about to be pulled out from under you and your worst fears are about to be realised.”
Emma nodded and breathed, “exactly..”
Regina shifted in the seat to face Emma a little more, “you fear being alone, losing your family.. not..” she waved her hand as she fished for the correct word, “not being needed, right?”
At Emma’s nod Regina continued, “all you’re doing now is pushing yourself further away from your family, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You need to throw yourself in, to hell with the fear of what may happen..”
“I.. I can’t,” Emma stuttered in fear, “I’ll.. I don’t know what would happen to me if I was rejected again,” she admitted sadly.
“You won’t be..” Regina implored.
“I don’t agree,” Emma shook her head.
“That’s the fear talking,” Regina pointed out, “however you may feel about yourself you are an important part of these people’s lives. Snow and David love you unconditionally and they will be devastated if you leave.. not to mention that I’ll go insane from all their ‘I’ll find you’ nonsense that will no doubt follow..”
Emma laughed despite herself.
“And then there’s my family..” Regina added carefully.
“You mean Henry,” Emma said.
“I mean all of us,” Regina said.
“You wanted me dead,” Emma laughed.
“No, never dead,” Regina said, “that would have broken the curse, I wanted you.. out of the way. But that was a long time ago.”
“And now?” Emma asked hesitantly.
“Do you think I would have rescued you if you didn’t mean anything to me?” Regina said deliberately.
“I don’t know..” Emma said honestly.
“I.. I can’t picture a Storybrooke without you in it,” Regina admitted, “and I can’t picture my life without you in it.”
Emma stared at Regina with surprise and confusion, “what does that mean?”
“I don’t know,” Regina admitted with a small laugh, “I know it means that I want you to stay, to be a mother to Henry.. to be in Grace’s life too.”
“But why?” Emma frowned, “why on earth would you want me near Grace?”
“Because above all else I want my children to be happy, I know how good you are with Henry and I know you’d protect him with your life.. I know you’d be the same with Grace,” Regina paused before continuing, “I understand that my children need more than just me, they need to be rounded individuals with other people in their lives and I know that I want your influence in their lives.”
They sat in silence and then Emma suddenly stared at Regina in shock, “if you’re here, then who’s watching the kids?!”
“Calm down,” Regina smiled, “there’s a protection spell on them, if anything happens I’ll go back.”