Searching for Caleb

But Meg's tears were back and she wouldn't speak, even to say no. She bent her head. The two short wings of her hair swung forward to hide her cheeks. And Duncan, of course, was off on some tangent of his own. His mind had started up again; he was finally awake. His mind was an intricate, multigeared machine, or perhaps some little animal with skittery paws. "I am fascinated by randomness," he said. "Do you realize that there is no possible permutation of four fingers that could be called absolutely random?"

"Duncan, it's time to roll the mattresses," Justine said.

"Mattresses. Yes."

"Would you?"

"Hold up your hand," Duncan told the grandfather, leading him through the living room. "Then take away two fingers. The first and third elements, say, of a four-element . . ."

"Last night," said Meg, "Mrs. Benning asked me again if I would like to stay with her,"

"Oh, Meg."

"She said, 'Why won't your mother allow it? Just till the school year is over,' she said. She said, 'You know we'd love to have you. Does she think you'd be imposing? Would it help if I talked to her one more time?'"

"You'll be leaving us soon enough as it is," said Justine, stacking empty paper cups.

"At least we should consider my schooling," Meg said. "This is my senior year. I won't learn a thing, moving around the way we do."

"Teaching you to adapt is the best education we could give you," Justine told her.

"Adapt! What about logarithms?"

"Now I can't keep on and on about this, I want you to find the cat. I think she knows it's moving day. She's hiding."

"So would I," said Meg, "if I could think of a place." And she slid off the counter and left, calling the cat in her soft, sensible voice that was never raised even when she argued. Justine stood motionless beside the sink. When she heard footsteps she spun around but it was only her grandfather.

"Justine? There are neighbors here to see you off," he told her. He sniffed through his long, pinched nose. People who were not related to him ought to keep to themselves, he always said. He watched narrowly while Justine rushed through the house, hunting her keys and struggling into her coat and jamming her hat on her head. "Check your room, Grandfather," she called. "Turn off the lights. Will you help Meg find the cat? Tell her we're just about to leave."

"Knees?"

"And don't forget your hearing aid."

"They don't get better that fast, the cold has sunk into the sockets," her grandfather said. "Ask me again tomorrow. Thank you very much."

Justine kissed his cheekbone, a polished white blade. She flew through the living room and out the front door, into the chalky dawn. Cold air yanked at her breath. Frozen grass crunched under her feet. Over by the U-Haul truck, Mr. Ambrose was helping Duncan load the last of the mattresses. Mrs. Ambrose stood to one side, along with the Printzes and Mrs. Benning and Delia Carpenter and her retarded daughter. And a few feet away was a newsboy Justine had never seen before, a canvas sack slung from one shoulder. Except for the newsboy they all wore bathrobes, or coats thrown over pajamas. She had known them for nearly a year and there were still these new things to be learned: Alice Printz favored fluffy slippers the size of small sheep and Mrs. Benning, so practical in the daytime, wore a nightgown made of layers and layers of see-through pink or blue or gray-it was hard to tell which in this light. They stood hugging themselves against the cold, and the Carpenter girl's teeth were chattering. "Justine, I never!" Alice Printz was saying. "You thought you could slip out from under us. But we won't let you go that easy, here we are at crack of dawn waiting to see you off."

"Oh, I hate goodbyes!" said Justine. She went down the row hugging each one, even the newsboy, whom she might after all know without realizing it. Then a light came on over the Franks' front door, three houses down, and Justine went to tell June Frank goodbye. All but the newsboy came along with her. June appeared on her cinderblock steps carrying a begonia in a plastic pot. "I had this growing for you ever since I knew you would be moving," she said, "and if you had run off in the night the way you're doing and not give me a chance to say goodbye it would have broke my heart in two." June rolled her hair up on orange juice cans. Justine had never known that before either. And she said not to thank her for the plant or its growth would be stunted. "Is that right?" said Justine, her attention sidetracked. She held up the pot and thought a minute. "Now why, I wonder?"