Seed on the Wind

After a long silence Anne said to the fire: “It really wasn’t at all nasty. You probably know there’s no one else on earth I can talk to about Steve Adams. Though why I should want to talk about him... Yes, I’m still tender. But I always was tender, and you were always tough. Tougher than him even. Today when I came in and heard you were here I thought at first you had heard from him and my heart stopped still; I stood at the door for ten seconds with my heart as dead as a rock. As soon as I saw your face I knew you hadn’t. You haven’t?”

Lora shook her head. “You didn’t notice that I’m wearing the dress I had on the day he told me to go to hell?”

“Yes, and I was surprised, I thought you’d forgotten it...”

“It’s a symbol. Thumbing my nose. Not at poor Steve particularly, just anyone. At the father of my new baby, perhaps. You hadn’t noticed?”

Anne laughed, a laugh without warmth that began abruptly, showed for a moment her perfect gleaming teeth, and ended more abruptly still.

“My dear, you might as well have it on a signboard. I thought perhaps it wasn’t being discussed. You certainly waste no time?”

“Due in a month,” Lora announced. “It is to be a boy.”

“Are you married?”

“Of course not. There is a father though.”

Anne looked at her, shivered a little, and looked again at the fire. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it were my own husband,” she said. “Honestly I wouldn’t; you know he wants children. I wouldn’t put anything in the world above you or beneath you. You never did love Steve, did you? But you have his son. When I looked at Roy today, and thought, that is Steve’s son, it made me feel empty and sick inside. I hated you; I do hate you I think; you never loved Steve; you don’t even love Roy, you look at him as if he were a chair or something, something you’d gone out and bought somewhere—”

She stopped abruptly, still looking into the fire. I shouldn’t have come, thought Lora, I shouldn’t have brought him, poor Anne.

“I shouldn’t have brought him,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“No. You shouldn’t have brought him. I’m miserable, Lo, just completely miserable. That was what he called you, wasn’t it?”

A cat’s frightful howl came from the hall. “Roy!” called Lora instantly, as quick as a reflex. Panther, startled out of her sleep, sat up with wide eyes. Anne was on her feet at once, calling out, “Siesta, Siesta darling!” and off she went.

Roy met her at the door. “I didn’t hurt it any,” he declared. “It wouldn’t come out.”

“You little devil.” Anne brushed past him into the hall. “Siesta darling, where are you?”

“Come here,” said Lora. He walked over to her, calmly and with poise.

“Let me see your hands. Did the cat scratch you?”

He shook his head. “It couldn’t. It was behind that thing in the hall.”

“Did you pull its tail?”

“It don’t hurt a cat to pull its tail,” he said. “It uses it to hang on trees with.”

“It’s too bad she didn’t scratch you, then you’d know why you shouldn’t pull her tail.”

Anne returned, in her arms a big yellowish brown cat which nestled against her shoulder with its tail moving in little jerks and its eyes closed. She walked over to Roy and stood looking down at him with a bitter intensity. “You are a little devil,” she said, “Now you can pat her nicely and beg her pardon.” But at the scent of the hostile hand the cat scrambled loose, leapt to the floor and disappeared into the hall.

“Don’t get ideas,” said Lora. “All boys pull cats’ tails, it’s practically compulsory. They get over it.”

“Not all of them.”

“Roy will. Come here, dear.” The boy was instantly at her side. “This is manners. You have hurt Anne’s feelings. If you are sorry you will tell her so. Go on.”

Promptly he walked over to Anne and held out his hand, and when she had taken it he smiled at her and said, “I am sorry I pulled your cat’s tail.”

“All right,” she smiled back at him. “But you’re a little devil anyway.”

They left soon after. Anne insisted that they stay for tea, but Lora said no, the children must be got home and fed and put to bed; outside, it was already night, what with the winter solstice so close at hand and the curtain of clouds that had all day obscured the sun and sent the snow down. The snow was still falling as they made their way out to the curb and climbed into the car, Lora with short careful steps to avoid a fall on the slippery pavement.

“I’ll come to see you at the hospital,” called Anne from the door.