Sex, Lies, and Vampires

And if the acts have been my choice? he asked, his fingers sliding into my hair as I nibbled around his lips. Would you condemn me? Would you damn me as the others have? Would you leave me?

Never, I said into his mind, my mouth caressing his. I nibbled his lips until they parted, allowing me in, the taste of him filling me with so many emotions I couldn't untangle them. You are not evil, Adrian. I could never fall in love with a man who was truly evil. You did the best you could, saved as many people as you could.

His fingers dug hard into my hips for a moment as I plundered the silk of his mouth; then roughly he pushed me aside, leaping up from the bed, his back to me as he spoke. "You are too inexperienced to see the truth in me, Nell. I am no better than Asmodeus himself."

My heart ached at the self-loathing in his voice. It was an emotion I was very familiar with, but one that Adrian was unjustly embracing. I also knew how destructive it could be unless it was nipped in the bud. I pushed myself off the bed, grabbing my clothes, jerking them on quickly. "Will you stop with the pity party? I can't cope with my own wallow in self-pity and yours as well."

His shoulders twitched as if I had stung him, but he didn't turn around to face me.

I sighed and pulled on my socks and shoes. "You're not evil, you're not a monster, you're a man who's been cursed, that's all. That gives you a get-out-of-jail-free card as far as guilt goes."

Dark Ones may not be able to conjure up things out of nothing, but they can move fast when they want to. One second I was standing glaring at Adrian's back, the next I was slammed up against the wall, his body hard and aggressive on mine as his eyes spat blue fire at me.

"I had choices," he said slowly, his words as hard as granite. "The deaths I caused, the Dark Ones I destroyed—I chose to do so."

"Because of the curse," I said gently, sliding my arms around him, holding him tight against me. He was filled with pain, a veritable whirlpool of anger and guilt and agony all tied in upon itself. I wanted to show him that the choices he made, the things he'd done, were not because he was a monster. A tremor went through his body as I melted into his mind, my lips pressed against the pulse point of his throat.

How can you have such faith in me when you have none in yourself?

I smiled into his neck as the torment within him receded until it was a dull throb. Call it womanly intuition. I just know I couldn't be falling in love with a man who took pleasure in others' pain. You might not realize that I can see it in you, but I know what price you've had to pay for being Asmodeus's servant. I know also that in each situation, you chose the lesser of two evils. A few Dark Ones died, yes, but how many didn't die because you were strong enough to do what had to be done?

He said nothing verbally or mentally, but I sensed that behind the remaining anguish a deep well of sorrow kept him in check. Warm lips caressed my ear for a moment; then he pulled back and collected his satchel. "The toilet is at the end of the hall. I will meet you downstairs in five minutes."

He left the room without a backward glance.

"About this ring of Asmodeus's that you were looking for at Christian's castle…" I began.

Adrian glanced at me, the hand resting on my waist tightening with a possessiveness that thrilled me to my toenails as we made our way through the darkening streets of Cologne, past the magnificent cathedral toward the main train station. "Why do you ask about the ring? You said you did not see it."

Actually, I hadn't said anything of the kind, but only because I still wasn't exactly sure what the item I'd found at the castle was… and Adrian hadn't left me alone long enough to examine it, I wasn't sure it wasn't an earring, but it sure seemed like it could be the ring Adrian had been looking for. My best bet was to get a little more information so I could make a decision about it. "I'm curious about something that holds so much potential power against Asmodeus. Why didn't you continue searching for it after we ran into each other?"