Sex, Lies, and Vampires

Christian rolled his eyes. Adrian scowled. "The room is tolerable."

"Mister Gratitude," I said under my breath as I turned to Christian. "Please excuse Adrian. He really is a nice man beneath that harsh exterior."

"I am the Betrayer. I am not nice."

Christian looked as if he wanted to smile but didn't dare.

"He's just not used to having anyone do anything for him," I told him.

"Dark Ones fear my very name!"

"Nor is he used to accepting help," I explained, feeling it necessary that Christian understand just how isolated Adrian had been all these long centuries. "Being bound to a demon lord really did a number on his ability to trust, but he's getting better."

"Death and destruction follow in my wake!" Adrian yelled, indignation filling his eyes. I kissed the tip of his nose until his irises darkened to a clear sapphire.

Christian burst into laughter.

"You see what I must tolerate?" Adrian demanded of Christian. "This woman, this Beloved who is bound to me body and soul, she who is everything to me, does not admit to the power and terror I wield."

"Used to wield," I pointed out, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his chin. "Now that we've got the ring, we're going to take care of that curse, so it'll be bye-bye, Betrayer, hello, happy Adrian."

"She treats me as if I am a mortal man," Adrian continued. "Me! One who has seen darkness that would kill a mere mortal!"

Christian's laughter faded as his eyes narrowed on me. "It is like that also with my Beloved. She has no respect for what it is to be a Dark One. They do not understand, these Americans, just how dangerous we can be. When angry, Allegra refers to me as Fang Boy."

They both looked at me, Christian with speculation, Adrian with outrage, as if I were to blame for Allie's choice of words. "Hey," I said, holding up my hands. "I'm innocent."

"See that you stay that way," Adrian said softly as Allie, Damian, and the mummies came into the room.

"They can stay in Christian's study," Allie was saying. "It has a TV My ghosts love it, so I think your stepmother's mummies would like it, too."

"She's not my stepmother!"

"No?" Allie looked from me to Adrian. "I thought you two were Joined?"

"We are," I said, extracting myself from the group hug with which the mummies felt it necessary to greet me after a prolonged absence of roughly thirty seconds. "But neither Damian nor I were expecting each other, so we've got some issues to work out."

"She stinks," the annoying little snot said. I made mean eyes at him.

Allie, who had started moving toward her husband, stopped at the look he gave her. "What's wrong?"

"Snugglebunny" Christian answered.

"Do not forget Fang Boy," Adrian added helpfully, glaring at the nearest mummy as he wrapped his arm around me and hauled me to his side. "My Beloved would never be so discourteous as to refer to me in such a flippant manner."

"Not so long as you watch your step, my little love potato," I answered.

Allie rolled her mismatched eyes when her husband gave her a pointed look. "Oh, for God's sake… come on, Dracula. Let's leave the happy family to themselves."

"You are determined to drive me insane, are you not, woman?" Christian asked as he followed her to the door.

"Where is she going to sleep?" Damian demanded, hands on his hips as he stared pointedly at a big bed. "There's only one bed, and I can't sleep with that awful smell in the room."

"We have a very nice room across the hall," Allie said, limping back into the room to steer Damian out the door. "You will be close to your father, and Nell's… uh… odor won't bother you there."

Damian shot me a disbelieving look, but allowed himself to be escorted to the opposite room.

"What is it with that kid?" I asked Adrian as the door closed, trying not to look as if I cared what the little monster said about me. "I took a bath! I do not—Ginger, off! I can't talk with you humping my leg like that."

The mummy wasn't actually trying to get busy with my leg, but in his crouched, doubled-over position, his attempts to hug me ended up in a somewhat X-rated move on my leg. I pointed to the door and told him to leave, more than a little startled when he complied.

Adrian gave me a long-suffering look as he began to unpack his satchel.

I looked at the other mummies. "Leave!" I ordered in a dramatic voice.

They left, cooing a sad little lament about their banishment.

"I could so get used to this," I said, turning back to face Adrian. His frown said it all. I smiled and hurriedly added, "Not that we're going to keep them. I'll put them back to their original condition just as soon as I figure out how to recurse them."

"I fervently hope you do. The next few hours will be difficult enough without your mummies getting in the way." Damian stuffed a few articles of clothing into the top drawer of a dresser.

"Yeah, well, the same could be said for your son. Why didn't you tell me Damian was your son? And why is he going on about me stinking?"