Shadow Heir

I thought back to his questions and felt my stomach turn queasy as the twins’ faces flashed to my mind. “They’re like ... well, they look like me. So far. No trace of ... him. Other than that, it’s hard to guess too much what they’ll be like. And they’re small, of course. Smaller than what’s ideal. But everything’s there—there and perfect. Plus, they’re growing more and more each day. Pretty soon they’ll be able to go home.” I didn’t elaborate on what “home” meant—partially because I wasn’t even certain—but did go on to explain what had happened in the NICU. Dorian bore the usual gentry look of surprise and confusion at the technical lingo, but when I was finished, he actually seemed impressed.

“Well, then, it sounds like it’s a blessing they were somewhere that could help them get through all of this,” he said. “But tell me, how are you handling all of it?”

I stifled a yawn. “Not looking forward to a long journey in the snow. Also not excited that we don’t know exactly where we’re going, but compared to the alternative, I guess it’s—”

“No, no,” he interrupted, sitting up so that he could meet my gaze. “Not this Yew Land nonsense. I’m talking about being away from Ivy and Thundro. How are you coping with that? It can’t be easy, being apart when they’re both so fragile.”

My answer was a long time in coming. Aside from Roland—who had actually seen how difficult my parting from the twins was—no one had asked much, so far, about how I felt about having to leave them. Everyone had wanted to know about their births and that Isaac and Ivy were safe and accounted for, but my feelings on the matter had never been brought up. I was Eugenie, Queen of Rowan and Thorn, Storm King’s daughter. It was expected that I would slip easily into this new adventure and do my duty.

“It’s terrible,” I said at last, unable to look into his eyes. I hated when he turned all serious. “I didn’t want to come back, even when Roland told me how bad things were. Leaving their bedside was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m wracked with guilt over every option. I hate myself for leaving them and would’ve hated myself for abandoning all of you. I feel split between worlds.”

Dorian swung his legs over to the side of the bed. “You’ve felt that way since the moment I met you.”

I thought about it. “I suppose so.”

“Well, don’t worry. I’ll help you settle this blight problem so that you can get back to them soon.” He stood up and caught one of my hands in his. “I promise.” His lips brushed the top of my hand, and then he released it. I stared dumbfounded as he walked to the door. Before he left, he glanced back at me. “Oh, and for what it’s worth? I’m sorry you had to come back under these circumstances, but I am glad to see you again.”

“Thanks,” I said stupidly, unable to formulate anything more eloquent. I wished I could say a hundred other things, like that I appreciated his compassion now and how he’d tried to help me before I left. I wanted to tell him I was sorry for not confiding in him before ... but the words stuck on my lips.

He left me, and I was amazed. No snark, no innuendoes. Just honesty and sincerity. He’d seen my pain and offered his comfort. I wasn’t so sure cleaning up this “nonsense” would be as easy as he’d made it out to be, but the sentiment still meant a lot to me. This wasn’t the Dorian I’d left two months ago.

Despite how awestruck his behavior had left me, I couldn’t ponder it much longer. We had a big day tomorrow, and my body was exhausted. I had enough presence of mind to strip off my outerwear and then slide into the heavily layered bed. Just before I fell asleep, I thought I caught the lingering scent of apples and cinnamon from where he’d been lying.

Dorian was back to his usual bantering self the next morning. It wasn’t biting or sarcastic, though, and I could tell he was actually trying to boost everyone’s spirits with his jokes and quips. Although tense, everyone in our party actually seemed excited about our venture. I think they’d been inactive for too long and were grateful just to be doing something to try to rectify this problem.

Along with Dorian, Jasmine, Pagiel, and Rurik, I also had two of my own guards and one of Dorian’s. All three were strong fighters, and Dorian’s man—Alistir—was also a healer. Shaya came out to see us off, and from the way she and Rurik had to be pried apart, it was obvious they’d long since made up their differences from yesterday.

We set out on horseback into another icy, blustery day. Jasmine, Pagiel, and I all wanted to use our magic to facilitate our journey, but Dorian cautioned against it so early on. “The road will be manageable. The horses are strong right now, and so are we. Don’t start expending yourselves quite so soon—especially since we don’t know if there’s worse weather to come.”