Side Effects May Vary

I woke up to blinding sunlight and the blankets pushed down around my feet. The humidity from outside filled the room. I reached for Harvey, but he wasn’t there. I blinked my eyes into focus and saw him, kneeling in front of his duffle bag.

“Good morning,” I said.

“Morning. Smells like hash browns.” We were still okay. The goodness between us hadn’t disappeared.

“I closed the door so you could sleep a little later,” he said, pointing to the door. “Bernie was in such a good mood she didn’t even notice.”

I inhaled the aroma and realized I was starving. I skipped down the ladder and grabbed a pair of denim shorts to change into.

“I put your swimsuit in the bathtub to dry,” said Harvey, his hand on the doorknob.

“Right, thanks,” I said, yawning. “Close the window, Harvey. It’s freaking hot in here.”

“Can I talk to you after breakfast?”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

He left, and I changed quickly into my shorts.

It seemed that starving was a common theme at the breakfast table. My dad made hash browns and waffles. Every crumb disappeared in minutes. The much more beach-appropriate weather had lifted everyone’s spirits. Harvey volunteered us for clean-up duty while my parents and Natalie sipped coffee.

I scooped up a handful of soapsuds and blew them into Harvey’s face. Unfortunately for him, his mouth was open, and he coughed so hard I was surprised he didn’t hack up a lung.

With Harvey still coughing and our parents deep in conversation, the doorbell rang. I ran to answer the door with a greasy iron skillet still in my hand.

“Alice! Hey, Alice, let me get that!” yelled Harvey, his voice raspy, as he chased me down the hallway with his hands covered in soapsuds.

I ignored him and swung the door open to find Debora. Debora with a small overnight bag on her shoulder. No. I held my breath, hoping that she wasn’t here to be with my Harvey, even though I knew she was.

“Alice.” I turned around to find Harvey with his eyes on Debora, but my name on his lips. This was a mistake. This was a family vacation. Debora was smart, nice, and cute, but she was not family.

Natalie rushed down the hallway with my parents at her heels. “Oh, Debora! I’m so glad you were able to make it.”

I whipped back around to Debora on the doorstep, eyes wide as Natalie gave her a quick hug. Behind her, a silver Toyota Camry was parked in the driveway. Again, I turned around to face Harvey, hoping for some kind of explanation.

He stood with his mouth open.

But then it slid over me like wax. He’d invited her here. And they all knew. My mom, my dad, Natalie. All of them had known she would be here. And Harvey, he let me put myself out there last night. I pushed air in and out of my nose, forcing myself to remember to breath. I wanted to crush him.

“What. The. Hell. Harvey,” I growled, my voice low and angry.

“I tried to tell you. Last night, remember?”

In the water, before he thought he had lost the keys. We were talking about today, and he wanted to talk to me about something, I remembered. This morning, in our room. “No. I don’t remember.” Each word clipped.

The narrow hallway was too small for all of us. Debora still stood at the door, unsure of what to do with herself. I wanted to rip out her goddamn hair. That’s what I wanted to do. I pushed through Harvey, Natalie, and my parents, weaseling out of each of their attempts to grab me. The iron skillet was still in my hand, swinging at my side. My mom chased after me into the living room as I walked through the sliding glass door and onto the patio.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” she demanded, sliding the door shut behind her.

“Go away.”

“Alice.” Her voice wasn’t kind or gentle. Everything in me was withering, and she chose now to yell at me. I closed my eyes and saw the pictures. The flowers. The candles. Rest in Peace. No matter how fast Harvey and Dennis had managed to take down that display, it would always exist. I would always see it. I would never forget.

“I said go the fuck away.” It wasn’t the words themselves, but the way I said them that would create a big wave with my mom. Heat from my ears spread down my neck and across my chest.

She grabbed my wrist (the one not connected to the skillet) and squeezed hard. My hand began to turn white, and I could already feel her fingerprints branding my skin. “I don’t know when you turned into such a little bitch, but things are going to change in a big way.”

Most mothers don’t talk to their daughters like that, but my mom and I had never been most mothers and daughters. I remembered reading about wolf packs when I was younger. Each wolf pack could only have one alpha, one chief. This was the very unfortunate truth of my mother and me. We were two alphas who could never coexist in peace. The only time we had was when she thought I was dying.