Snake Eyes

I think it’s accurate to say that the demon felt the bite of the blade. It sat up knocking Mrs. Rickett—a still not totally satisfied Mrs. Rickett—backwards. She grappled the beast’s chest hairs and managed to hang on. There was no sound of a scream from either the body or the head, but I did hear repeated bursts of air escaping its windpipe and it didn’t take much to imagine the level of noise it would have made if its head were still attached to its body. The tail writhed like a snake in my hand and I fell backwards just as two enormous, six-fingered, talon-tipped hands came my way. Trapped by a leg on each side, I rolled backwards, ending up in a heap, but out of reach, at the creature’s feet. I stood up, knife in one hand with not a drop of blood upon it and tail in the left gripping my wrist and flailing as if blessed with its own life.

The circle of semi clad and unclad village ladies faltered in its rhythm. Some of the women looked around as if not knowing where they were and then, seeing each other as though for the first time and seeing me, they tried to cover themselves up with their hands. Most of them were far too well endowed for this approach to work. They merely looked more naked than ever. I ran past them to the sounds of Mrs. Rickett screaming, ‘NO, NO. Don’t stop. I haven’t finished yet!”

Moments later, women were running past me into the night, into the forest, trying to get home. We let them go but the men looked downhearted. Some of them looked totally defeated by what they’d seen. No doubt they thought that if they’d been lacking before in the eyes of their wives, they now had no chance. It wasn’t the moment for a pep talk on the unimportance of size. Instead I tried to rally them.

“Come along now, men folk. We have its tail. We have all the power.”

In the clearing the demon was standing, swaying with both hands clasped over the place where its tail had so recently been. Its once intimidating erection drooped defeated towards the ground. Even without its head the demon’s posture was an utter advertisement of its feelings.

It was humiliated, it was powerless, it was embarrassed.

I checked the demon’s face, knowing it knew what had happened and saw there, so contrasted with all its expressions of menace and excess, such a look of debilitation and despair that I almost felt sorry for the thing.

“Here, help me,” I said.

Prattle bent and took hold of a horn. We started to swing the head.

“One, two, THREE!”

We let go and the head flew away from us into the clearing. Rolling the last few strides and coming to rest at the feet of its estranged body. Controlling its body with difficulty from such a wrong angle, the head directed the hands downward until they had a hold of it. They lifted it back into place and for the first time since the demon had landed in the field, we saw it standing up, alive and complete except for one small and essential detail. From the front, of course, it still looked fairly fierce and the men took a few nervous steps backwards.

“Be bold, gentlemen. We are in control now,” said I.

I don’t think they believed me and to be honest, neither did I. The demon advanced towards us in huge strides, shaking the ground enough to unnerve me. The tail tried to slither free of my hand and I squeezed it tight. Even when the demon had been hanging from the church bell tower, it hadn’t seemed this large. It loomed in front of us. Well, in front of me, I should say, and looked down. Staring back up into its glowering face hurt my neck. I could hear the snorts as it breathed and for the first time saw smoke curling up from its nostrils. Its voice was deeper than a distant rumble of summer thunder. My very bones shook to hear him speak.

“Return that which you have stolen,” it said, pointing at my hand.

I had to force myself not to hesitate and my own voice sounded puny to my ears when I replied.

“I think not, demon.”

“Return it or I will slaughter all of you and devour your souls.”

Prattle tugged at my sleeve,

“Perhaps you ought to do what it suggests.”

I shook his hand away.

“Sorry, demon. Can’t do it. If you want your tail back, you’ll have to take it.”

I smiled a sweet smile and put my hands behind my back so that the tail was out of sight. The demon puffed himself up and spread his wings. He stretched his powerful arms out and uncurled his claw-tipped fingers. He raised himself up to his full height. He peeled his lips back to reveal his many teeth. He took a huge deep breath and his chest expanded to twice its normal size.

“That’s enough posturing, demon. Now, the fact is that you’re the one who’s stolen something from us. A couple of things, actually. First, you’ve taken our contentment and second, you’ve thieved the purity of some of our wives. We’d like both those things back, please. Or I’m very sorry, but it will be no more tail for Mr. Demon.”

The demon pointed a long and deadly finger at me.

“You will rue this disrespect, Delly Duke.”