Somebody Owes Me Money

We were stopped by the light at Tenth Avenue, of course. It has been my experience in my six years as a cabdriver that I would say I have spent four and a half of those years sitting in front of red lights. I looked out the back window, and here they came, just turning the corner way back at the other end of the block, running full tilt, arms pumping, ties whipping out behind them, jackets open. Most of them were just in suits, only two wearing overcoats, and if they ever slowed down they were going to be mighty cold.

The light turned green and we crossed Tenth Avenue and went to Eleventh Avenue, where the light was red. “You folks left without your coats,” the cabby pointed out. He’d apparently decided to forgive my slur against his wife.

“We were in a hurry,” I said.

“You must be elopin’ to Miami.”

“That’s right,” Abbie said, and grinned at me, and reached over to squeeze my hand.

“Don’t I wish I was there right now,” the cabby said, and the light turned green. We made our right and went one block to 48th Street, where the light was red. “You folks flyin?”

“You bet we are,” Abbie said.

“That’s the only way to go,” he said. “Right? Right?”

“Right,” Abbie said.

The light turned green. We made eight blocks, and at 56th Street got stopped by another light. All in all it took us three greens to get to 65th Street, and it turned out we had us a talkative driver. By the time we got where we were going he’d told us about his two airplane rides, about Miami, and about his brother-in-law’s car-wash operation in Long Island City which he could have had a half interest in only it had been during New York’s water crisis and he’d figured it was too dangerous to invest in something that used water and now he could kick himself.

I could have kicked him, too. My own feeling when driving a cab is that the customer should decide if he wants to hold a conversation or not. If somebody says something to me, I respond. But I don’t push conversations on people who don’t want conversations.

Anyway, we finally got to the garage, at which point it occurred to him to ask, “Why come here? Don’t you want the West Side terminal?”

“We’ve got to get married first,” I said.

“Oh,” he said. At the rate his mind turned over, it should be three or four days before it occurred to him there weren’t any churches or anything around here.

I paid him, and gave him a good tip because I want people to give me good tips — but no more horses, please — and we got out into the cold. He drove on into the garage, and I said to Abbie, “See that gas station down there? Wait in the office in there. I’ll pick you up in a couple minutes.”

“What are you going to do?” Her teeth were chattering.

“Get a car,” I said.

“You’re going to steal a cab?”

“What steal? I’m an employee here, I’m going to sign one out.”

“Oh,” she said, and smiled in wonderment. “Of course. How easy.”

“Go get indoors,” I said. “You’re turning blue.”

“Thank God I’m wearing my boots,” she said, and turned and hurried away. I watched her go, and I hoped for her sake the boots went up to her waist, because the skirt was barely long enough to reach her legs.

I went on into the garage and talked to the dispatcher. He had a couple of remarks about my not having called in the last three or four days, but there’s a lot of guys less dependable than me and he knew it, so I didn’t say anything and he didn’t keep it up. I signed out a car and while I was walking across the floor to get it, here came the cabby we’d just ridden with, bringing his time sheet into the office.

He stared at me. “Where’s your girl?”

“The hell with her,” I said. “I don’t like her family.”

I felt him staring at me as I walked on.

28

At the gas station, the guy who came out to service me gave me a dirty look when Abbie hopped into the cab and I immediately drove away. She’d started to get in front, but I’d waved her to get in the back instead, and as we started up I threw the meter flag. I didn’t want to get stopped by a cop at this stage of the game.

Abbie said, “You didn’t need gas?”

“That wasn’t a Sunoco station,” I said, and looked at the gas gauge. “And I don’t need gas.”

“It’s freezing in here.”

“It’ll warm up in a couple minutes.”

“Where are we going now?”

“I have no idea,” I said. “None at all. There’s a diner I’m partial to down here a ways, let’s go in there and have a cup of coffee and think things over.”

“Fine,” she said.

So that’s what we did, and in the warmth of the diner we both began to relax a little. I ordered two Danish with our coffee, and when they arrived Abbie said, “That’s what puts the pounds on, Chet.”

“When people are chasing me with guns,” I said, “I think dieting is a little irrelevant.” I chomped into my Danish, and found it good.

“All right,” she said. “But when this is over, you go on a diet.”

“By the time this is over,” I said, “if I’m still around, I expect to be very very thin. Let’s not talk about dieting any more. Let’s talk about what we’re going to do.”

She sipped at her coffee. “I don’t know,” she said. “I can’t think anymore.”