Spare

Special thanks to Ramona Rosales for her sensitivity, humor, and artistry, Hazel Orme for her careful copyedits, Hilary McClellen for her superb fact-checking, Tricia Wygal for her eagle-eyed readings—likewise Elizabeth Carbonell, Tory Klose, Janet Renard, and Megha Jain. Thank you for the huge team effort.

To my mates in the U.K., who have stuck by me, who may not have seen it all clearly as it was happening, but who always saw me, knew me, stood by me—in amongst the fog—thank you for everything. And thank you for the laughs. Next round’s on me.

Love and thanks to friends and colleagues who helped jog my memory or else restored important details lost in the haze of youth, including Tania Jenkins and Mike Holding, Mark Dyer, Thomas, Charlie, Bill, and Kevin. To my entire military family, for challenging me, prodding me, encouraging me, and for always having my back. I’ll always have yours. Special gratitude goes to Glenn Haughton and Spencer Wright, my two color sergeants from Sandhurst. Thanks and hugs to Jennifer Rudolph Walsh for her always positive energy and soulful counsel, and to Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Chris Martin, Nacho Figueras and Delphi Blaquier, and James Corden for their unwavering friendship and support.

Thank you to all the professionals, medical experts, and coaches for keeping me physically and mentally strong over the years. Dr. Lesley Parkinson, Dr. Ben Carraway and Kevin Lidlow, and also Ross Barr, Jessie Blum, Dr. Kevin English, Winston Squire, Esther Lee, John Amaral, and Peter Charles. Also Kasey, Eric Goodman, and the two Petes. Special thanks to my U.K. therapist for helping unravel years of unresolved trauma.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart to the A Team on the home front, plus the whole wonderful gang at Archewell for the endless support. To Rick, Andrew, the two Tims, Matt, Jenny and team, David, my deepest thanks for your wisdom and guidance. You’re always there—whenever, however.

Thanks to my collaborator and friend, confessor and sometime sparring partner, J. R. Moehringer, who spoke to me so often and with such deep conviction about the beauty (and sacred obligation) of Memoir, and to all the faculty and students at the Moehringer-Welch Memoir Academy, including Shannon Welch, Gracie Moehringer, Augie Moehringer, John Stillman, Kit Rachlis, Amy Albert. Special thanks to Shannon for her countless reads and brilliant, incisive notes.

Stand out thanks to my mother’s siblings for their love, support, time, and perspective.

Above all my deepest and adoringest thanks to Archie and Lili, for letting Papa go off to read and think and reflect, to my mother-in-law (a.k.a. Grandma), and to my incredible wife, for too many millions of gifts and sacrifices, great and small, to ever enumerate. Love of my life, thank you, thank you, thank you. This book would’ve been impossible (logistically, physically, emotionally, spiritually) without you. Most things would be impossible without you.

And to you, the reader: Thank you for wanting to know my story in my words. I am so grateful to be able to share it thus far.