Spencerville

"Your timing's bad."

"This is a White House job, Keith. Very high visibility. You could be the next Alexander Haig. I mean, he thought he was president, but this job has such potential that you could actually run for president like people wanted Haig to do. The country is ready for a general as president again. I just read a secret poll about that. Think about it."

"Okay. Let me think a second. No."

"Everybody wants to be president."

"I want to be a farmer."

"That's the point. The public will love it. A tall, good-looking, honest man of the soil. You know the story of Cincinnatus?"

"I told you the story."

"Right. So your country needs you again. Time to step up to the plate and stop shoveling shit."

Keith wasn't sure about that mixed metaphor. He replied, "You know, if I were president, the first thing I'd do is fire you."

"That's very petty, Keith. Not very statesmanlike."

"Charlie, stop jerking me around. You wear thin."

"I'm not jerking you around. Forget president. After your White House job, you could come back here and run for Congress, then live in Washington. Best of both worlds. You could do something for your country and your community." Adair ground out his cigarette. "Come on, let's walk."

They walked between the rows of corn. Adair said, "Look, Keith, the president's got it in his mind that he'd like you to be on his staff. You owe him the courtesy of a personal reply. You got to do face time with this. So, even if you don't want the job, you have to tell him in person to fuck off."

"He told me to fuck off by letter."

"It wasn't him."

"Whoever it was, it doesn't matter. If someone screwed up, it's not my problem. You know I'm right."

"It's dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."

Keith stopped walking. "Is that a threat?"

"No. Just good advice, my friend."

They resumed their walk. Charlie said, "Will you like it here this time next year?"

"If I don't, I'll move on."

"Look, Keith, maybe you could rusticate out here and maybe be happy, and you could have stayed pissed off at those guys. But now that I brought you sincere apologies and an offer, you're not going to be at peace with yourself. So I fucked up your day and your retirement. Now you have to deal with the new situation."

"This is the new situation. Here. Back there is the old situation. You know, I was pissed off, but I'm not anymore. You guys did me a favor. You can't make me go back, so stop the bullshit."

"Well... you know, you're still in the military. You haven't worn a uniform in about fifteen years, but you're still a reserve colonel, and the president is commander in chief."

"Speak to my lawyer."

"The president may call on you from time to time to discharge the duties of your office, and so forth. The time has come, buddy."

"Don't try that with me."

"Okay, let me try this. Save my ass. Come to Washington with me and tell them Adair gave it his best shot, but you're there to tell them personally to fuck off. Okay? I know you want to do it that way. You don't owe them anything except a face-to-face fuck-off. But you owe me a few favors, and all I'm asking to square our account is that you come to D.C. with me. Then I'm off the hook, and you can say what's on your mind. Fair? You bet."

"I... I can't go with you..."

"You owe me, Keith. I'm here to collect, not to beg, threaten, or cajole. To collect."

"Charlie, look..."

"Bucharest. Not to mention the messiness in Damascus."

"Look, Charlie... there's a woman..."

"There's always a woman. That's how you almost got us beheaded in Damascus."

"There's a woman here..."

"Here? Christ, buddy, you haven't even been here two months."

"From long ago. You know, high school and college. I may have mentioned her in a maudlin moment."

"Oh... yes. Yes, you did. I see." He thought a moment and asked, "Husband?"

Keith nodded.

"Well, we can't help you with that." He winked. "But we can work something out."

"I've already worked it out, thank you."

They came back into the farmyard, and Charlie sat on the small garden tractor. "Can I smoke on this thing?"

"Yeah. It's just a tractor. It doesn't fly."

"Right." He lit another cigarette and seemed to be thinking. He said, "I don't see the complication."

"She's married. How would it look if a presidential aide was living with a married woman?"

"We'll get her a divorce."

"That could take years."

"We can pull a few strings."

"No, you can't. You can't do whatever you want to do. You think you can, but you can't. There are laws that govern this."

"Right. Well, did you intend to live with her anytime soon?"

"Yeah. Real soon."

"So we get her a separate apartment in Washington. Why are you making such a big deal of this?"

"Charlie, this is not what she and I had in mind. I am not that important to global peace. The world will do fine without my advice. The danger has passed. I did my duty. My life is important to me now."

"That's good. It never was, but I hear you. You know, you can have a life and a career. Done all the time."

"Not that career."