Squirrelflight's Hope

Leafpool shook her head. “ThunderClan doesn’t need me. I know I’ll be missed. But Jayfeather and Alderheart can take care of all the medicine-cat duties. Jayfeather and Lionblaze will still have you. I’ll be happy here. I feel like I’ve come home.” She blinked lovingly at Firestar and Sandstorm, then looked at Hollyleaf and purred. “I’ve been away from them too long.”

Firestar tipped his head to one side and blinked at Squirrelflight. “Are you going back?”

“Yes.”

“I’m proud of you,” he mewed.

She lifted her chin. “My Clan needs me.”

“They’re lucky to have you.” He narrowed his eyes. “But you must tell them to turn toward StarClan, not away from us. We can help—”

Squirrelflight blinked at him. “We’re not turning away from StarClan.” What did he mean? “You’ve been quiet lately, that’s all. We’ve been listening for messages that don’t come.”

“Perhaps you haven’t been listening hard enough!” Firestar flicked his tail.

Squirrelflight frowned. Had the Clans been missing the signs StarClan had sent them? She knew now how hard it was to communicate with the living. “We’ll try harder to hear you.” She touched her nose to Firestar’s muzzle. “I must go now. Bramblestar will be wondering what happened.”

She brushed her mother’s cheek with her own. “Tell Dandelionkit and Juniperkit that I’ll be back. And when Bramblestar joins us, we’ll be a family.”

“Take care.” Sandstorm pulled away and blinked anxiously at Squirrelflight. “Whatever happens, be brave.”

“I will.” Squirrelflight turned to Leafpool. “I’m sorry I have to leave you.”

“I understand why you do,” Leafpool mewed. “Tell Jayfeather and Lionblaze that I always loved them with a mother’s love and I always will. Tell them I’m sorry for the lie. I was trying to protect them, not hurt them. I’ll never forgive myself for the pain I caused, and I’ll be watching over them, and you.” She ran her tail along Squirrelflight’s spine. “Even when you feel I’m a long way away.”

Squirrelflight gazed at her sister, fixing a picture of her in her mind—her eyes bright, her pelt sparkling, a purr in her throat. She wanted to remember this, if she was going back to bury her body. “Okay.” She nodded at Firestar. “I’m ready.” She glanced across the meadow, looking for the pond.

Firestar seemed to guess what she was thinking. “You don’t need to swim back this time. StarClan is ready to let you go. Close your eyes.”

Squirrelflight closed her eyes and saw brightness. The blue of the sky seemed to swirl down and wrap her in a dazzling embrace. The ground disappeared from beneath her paws. As she fell, memories flashed in her thoughts.

“Squirrelkit! Come and play!” She was in the ThunderClan nursery, back in the old forest. Leafkit was calling to her from the entrance.

“Be careful!” Sandstorm called as Squirrelflight raced into the clearing, chasing Leafkit.

“You can’t catch me!” Leafkit glanced over her shoulder, her pelt fluffed with excitement.

“Yes I can.” Heart quickening, Squirrelflight hared after her, the wind in her fur.

The camp seemed to shift, and suddenly Leafpaw was standing beside her. They were apprentices again.

Leafpaw purred. “I can call you Squirrelface if you like.”

Squirrelflight blinked at her. “You haven’t called me Squirrelface in moons.” Her heart ached with longing.

“Come on.” Leafpaw padded across the clearing toward Cinderpelt and Dustpelt. “Let’s tell them to hurry up.”

This wasn’t what had happened. “We waited for them to finish talking.” Squirrelflight hurried after her. Were Leafpaw’s memories different from hers?

“Hurry up!” Leafpaw whisked her tail as she reached Cinderpelt. “I’ve got so much to learn. We have to hurry. I won’t be around forever.”

As Cinderpelt turned, the forest blurred and then flashed into focus once more. She was in the lake camp now, and Brambleclaw was glaring at her. “Couldn’t you have told me the truth?”

She remembered his words. They were seared into her heart. He was talking about the lie she and Leafpool had told about Jayfeather, Lionblaze, and Hollyleaf. She’d told him they were his kits. He’d been so angry. “It was never my secret to tell,” she breathed. “Leafpool had so much to lose.”

“She lost everything anyway!” Brambleclaw snarled.

“No I didn’t.” Relief washed Squirrelflight’s pelt as she heard Leafpool’s mew. Her sister was facing Brambleclaw, pride rippling through her fur. “I watched my kits grow into fine warriors, and I still serve my Clan with all my heart.”

And suddenly they were older, lying in the warmth of the setting sun.

“You said you were going to be Clan leader.” Leafpool swished her tail over the ground. “We were going to rule the whole forest and be the most powerful cats who ever lived.”

Squirrelflight purred as the memory warmed her. “We were very young.” She gazed across the clearing to where Lionblaze and Jayfeather were sharing a rabbit with Sparkpelt and Alderheart. Bramblestar was scrambling down the rock tumble toward them.

Leafpool got to her paws. “Take care of them.” She blinked lovingly at Squirrelflight and padded away.