Starborne

Imogen says, “It was like that every rime, the whole week that we were together. He was good, very good, in fact, but he never said a personal thing about himself, never asked anything about me. Friendly but distant: a mystery man. I liked him, though, I admired him, I respected his intelligence, his seriousness. I believed that sooner or later he’d open up a little. And then one afternoon we were sitting in here together and Natasha was here too, and he turned to her just the way he had turned to me the week before, and that was that for Marcus and me. It was over, as simply as that. But I always thought that Marcus and I would have a chance to get to know each other eventually, later on, maybe much later on. And now we never will.”

“Such a waste,” Sieglinde says, from the other tub.

“A fine young man,” says Huw. “It ripped me apart, watching him crack up down there. It ripped me apart.”

The year-captain nods abstractedly. This conversation is a necessary one, he supposes, part of the healing process for them, but it is making him uncomfortable. And the pressure of Noelle’s bare thigh against his in the tub is having an unsettling effect on him.

“They are very sad for us, the people on Earth,” Noelle says. “You know, they love us very much, they follow everything that we are doing with the greatest interest. The expedition to Planet A — it was the only thing they talked about on Earth all week, my sister says. And then — to learn that Marcus had died—” She shakes her head. “They are having memorial services for him today everywhere on Earth, do you know?”

“How wonderful,” Imogen says. “How good that will be for them. And for us as well.”

The year-captain looks at Noelle in surprise. That little detail, the thing about the memorial services, comes as news to him. Noelle had said nothing about that during the transmission meeting. Is she still in contact with Yvonne at this moment, receiving a steady flow of reports of Earth’s reactions to the death of Marcus? Or — he hates the idea, but it will not stay buried — is she simply inventing things as she goes along?

“You didn’t tell me that,” he says, a little reproachfully. “About the services.”

“Oh. Yes. Everywhere on Earth.”

“We are the big news,” Sieglinde says, with her usual coarse guffaw. “We fly around the universe, we live, we die, we find nasty planets, it is the great event for them. The only event. We astonish them, and they are unaccustomed to astonishment. Sheep, is what they are! Lazy as sheep! We should make up deaths every now and then, even if there aren’t any more, just to keep them excited. To keep them interested in us. Also to remind them that there is such a thing as death.”

Everyone turns to look at her. Sieglinde’s face is red with anger, fiery. She has a capacity for stirring herself up mightily. But then she grins — smirks, really — and the high color fades as swiftly as it had come.

More gently she says, “It was very bad, the thing about Marcus. I am greatly troubled by it, still. Such a quiet boy. Such a good mind he had. We must have no more losses of that kind, year-captain, do you hear me?”

“I wish we hadn’t had even that one,” he replies.

There is a dark moment of silence in the room.

“Well,” Huw says finally. He heaves his bulky body out of the water. He is reddened from the heat, looking at least half boiled. “We should be moving along, I think.” Reaching down with one hand, he lifts little Imogen out of the tub as easily as though she were a child, pulling her up over the tiled rim and letting her feet dangle in the air a moment before setting her down. They go off to the cold showers, and then dress and leave.

“I will be going also,” Sieglinde announces. “There is work I should be doing in the control cabin.”

Noelle and the year-captain are left alone in the baths. They sit facing the same way, thighs still touching. It is suddenly a highly awkward situation, with the other three gone. The tension of the moment in her cabin when Noelle had removed her clothes now returns to the year-captain, if indeed it has ever left. The nearest of the three lovemaking chambers next to the baths is just a few meters away. They could very easily stroll over to it right now. But the year-captain has no idea what Noelle wants him to do. He has no very clear idea what he himself wants to do. Again he waits, resolved to take his cue from her.

And again Noelle offers him nothing more than the usual simple innocence, the usual sweet indifference to the possibilities of the situation.

“Shall we go to the gaming lounge now, year-captain?”

“Of course. Whatever you say, Noelle.”

They return to her cabin first. He remains outside while she dresses; then they go up to the gaming lounge, where they find Paco and Roy playing, and also Sylvia and Heinz. The year-captain sets up the third board for himself and Noelle.