Stone of Tears

“She told you how to try to reach your Han? How to concentrate on finding that place within yourself?” Richard nodded. That is what I want you to do. While you search for that place, I will use my Han, through the Rada’Han, to try to guide you.”

Richard squirmed a little, getting more comfortable. Pasha took back a hand and fanned her face. This dress seems so warm, after wearing the other.” She unbuttoned the top five buttons of her dress and then took his hand up again. Richard glanced at the fire, to check the logs, so he would know how long it had been when he opened his eyes again. He could never seem to judge the time while he searched for his Han. It always seemed like mere minutes, but it was usually at least an hour.

Richard closed his eyes. He brought forth the image of the Sword of Truth on a plain background. As the quiet settled over him, as he sought the peace within, his breathing slowed. He took a long breath, and then let himself sink into the calm center.

He was aware of Pasha’s hands holding his, of her knees touching his, and of her even breathing coming into harmony with his. It felt good to have her holding his hands. He didn’t feel isolated the way he had always felt before. He didn’t know if she really was using the magic of his collar to go with him, but he felt himself spiraling deeper than he had before.

He drifted in the timeless place without thinking, without effort or worry. Whatever his Han was, he didn’t see or feel anything he hadn’t seen or felt before. Other than feeling more relaxed than before, and the comforting feeling of having Pasha with him, it was no different. He was dimly aware of his body starting to feel cramped, and of the warmth from the fire. The cold steel of the sword seemed to be a core of ice in the heat.

At last, he opened his eyes. Pasha opened her eyes with him. Richard glanced to the fire. The logs had been reduced to glowing coals. Two hours, he judged.

A trickle of sweat ran down Pasha’s neck. “My, but it’s warm tonight.”

She unbuttoned buttons. A lot of buttons. More of her was showing than had shown in the green dress. Richard made himself look back up into her soft eyes. Pasha gave him a small, self-assured smile.

“I didn’t feel anything,” Richard said. “I didn’t sense my Han. Although, I don’t know what it is I’m supposed to sense.”

“I didn’t, either, and I should have. Strange.” She sighed to herself with a puzzled expression. Her face brightened. “But it takes practice. Did you feel my Han? Was it any help?”

“No,” he admitted. “I didn’t feel anything.”

She made a little quirk with her mouth as she frowned. “You didn’t feel anything of me?” He shook his head. “Well, close your eyes and try again.”

It was late, and Richard didn’t want to practice anymore; it was tiring. But he decided to do as she wished. He closed his eyes. He concentrated on trying to bring back the sword.

Suddenly he felt Pasha’s full lips against his. His eyes opened as she pressed against him. Her eyes were closed, her brow wrinkled. She grasped his face with her hands.

Richard gripped her shoulders and pushed her away. She opened her eyes and licked her lips.

She smiled coyly. “did you feel that?”

“I felt it.”

She hooked an arm around his neck. “Apparently, not enough.”

Richard gently put a hand against her as she tried to lean in. He didn’t want to embarrass her, so he tried to keep his voice pleasant. “Pasha, don’t.”

She rubbed her free hand around on his stomach. “It’s late. No one will be around. If it will make you feel more comfortable, I’ll shield the door. You shouldn’t worry.”

“I’m not worried. I just… don’t want to.”

She looked a bit hurt. “You do not think I am pretty enough?”

Richard didn’t want to offend her, and he didn’t want to make her angry. But he didn’t want to encourage her, either.

“It’s not that, Pasha. You’re very attractive. It’s just that…”

She unbuttoned another little button. Richard reached out and took ahold of her hand to stop her. He realized the situation was becoming hazardous. She was his teacher. If he angered or humiliated her, things could become dangerously complicated. He had things to do, and couldn’t afford to turn her antagonistic.

She pulled her dress up her legs and put his hand against her thigh. “You like this better?” she asked in a breathy voice.

Richard froze at the firm, sensual feel of her flesh. He remembered what Sister Verna had said, that he would soon find another pair of pretty legs. These were certainly that, and Pasha was leaving precious little to the imagination. He pulled his hand away. “Pasha, you don’t understand. I think you’re a beautiful young woman…”

Her eyes fixed on his face as she ran her fingers down his beard. “I think you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.”

“No, you don’t…”

“I love your beard. Don’t ever cut it off. I think a wizard should have a beard.”