Stone of Tears

Two men were on the floor; one holding his crotch, the other sprawled out, blood gushing from his ruined face. His nose was crushed. There were ten others, all trying to get at her at once. They threw each other back, trying to force themselves on top of her, the biggest working his way in. Kahlan couldn’t get her breath.

With frantic effort, the spark of thought sprang forth. She remembered asking Zedd if he could remove her power. She had wanted to be free of it so she could be with Richard. Zedd had told her that it wasn’t possible to rid a Confessor of her power, that she was born with the magic, and it couldn’t be separated from her as long as she was alive.

How could Ranson have stripped her of her power? Zedd was a wizard of the First Order; there was no wizard with more power than a wizard of the First Order. Why wouldn’t Ranson have wanted to rape her first? He said she disgusted him. But he said he wanted to strip her of her dignity. Why wouldn’t he want to do it?

Unless he was afraid.

Afraid she would figure it out. Figure what out?

It came to her. The Wizard’s First Rule.

People would believe anything, if they wanted to believe. Or if they were afraid it was true. She was afraid it was true that he had stripped her of her power. Maybe he had used magic to give her pain and mask her ability to sense her own magic, to try to trick her into believing what she feared.

As the men groped at her, she groped for her power. She tried to find the calmness, the place of her magic, but it just wasn’t there. All she felt was emptiness. Where she always felt the swell of magic before, she now felt only a numb, hollow void.

She wanted to cry at the feel of the men’s hands on her legs, and between them, but she couldn’t allow herself to lose control, her only chance. Try as she might, she couldn’t find the magic, couldn’t call it forth. It was simply gone. She desperately wanted her hands free.

“Wait!” she screamed.

The men all stopped for a moment, their faces pulling back, looking at her. She gasped to catch her breath.

Talk, she ordered of herself, while you have the chance. “You’re doing it all wrong!”

They laughed. “We think we’ll figure it out,” one said.

Kahlan struggled to control her fear, and think. They were going to do what they were going to do, and she couldn’t stop them. Fighting them in this way was going to accomplish nothing, except to feed her panic. She had only one chance, and that was to use her head. She had to slow them down and give herself time to think.

“If you do it this way, you will just be denying yourselves the full satisfaction of it.”

They frowned. “What do you mean?”

“If you’re all fighting each other, and me, you won’t be able to really enjoy me as a woman. Wouldn’t it be more enjoyable if I cooperated?”

They all looked at one another. One to the side spoke up. “she has a point. The queen wasn’t nearly so much good after she went numb on us.”

“Queen?” Kahlan asked. “What queen? You men are just bragging on me. You’ve had no queen.”

“Queen Cyrilla,” a different man said. “she fainted on us, then went feebleminded. Just lay there the whole time, like a dead fish. But we had her anyway, had a queen. Still…”

Kahlan fought back the scream, fought to keep the meaning of what she had just learned from making her start kicking again. That would only get her the same as Cyrilla.

Her only chance was to use her head. She needed time to search for her magic, and if she somehow did find it, she needed the men separated. Otherwise, nine men would overpower that one. She had to have things organized first, in case the magic worked. And, she needed the strongest to be the one.

For an instant, she abandoned her idea, fearing it wouldn’t save her, and worse, fearing she wouldn’t have the nerve to do it. But then she bleakly realized that even if it didn’t work, it didn’t matter. They were going to rape her one way or the other. Her only chance was to try. She had nothing to lose.

“That’s what I mean. Wouldn’t you rather have my cooperation? I’m going to be down here for days. You’ll each have more than your share of time on me. Wouldn’t you rather I helped? That way, you could all have what you want.” She thought she might vomit.

“Keep talking,” the biggest man said in a gruff voice.

Kahlan stiffened her resolve. “I’ve never… had a man before.” They all hooted at their luck. She waited until their leers came back to her. She fought back the urge to shriek at the looks in those eyes. “Like I said, I’ve never had a man. I know you men are going to have me, and I can’t stop you. If it’s going to be done anyway, I’d rather… enjoy it.”

Their hungry smiles widened. “Yea? Well, what do you think you’d enjoy most, little lady?”

“If you did it one at a time. Wouldn’t that be better for you, too? If you weren’t fighting each other, if you waited your turn, then you could concentrate on enjoying everything a real woman has to offer.”