Stone of Tears

Richard stared at her concerned expression for only a second, and then he was running. He charged over the bridge and back into the city. People gaped as he flew past. He leapt over carts that wouldn’t move out of the way fast enough. He knocked over a stand selling amulets. People hollered at him, but he ran on.

His heart thumped in his ears as he raced up the hills. Several times he stumbled over ditches or rocks, but he rolled to his feet, gasping for air, and rushed on. In the darkness, he leapt from rock to rock as he crossed ravines.

At the crest of a round-topped hill near where he had been with Gratch earlier, he yelled, between panting. His fists at his sides, he tipped his head back and screamed Gratch’s name. His voice echoed off the surrounding hills. Only silence answered when the echoes died out.

Exhausted, Richard fell to his knees. They would be coming soon. The Sisters would use their Han to find the gar. Gratch wouldn’t know what they intended. Even if he kept his distance, their magic could reach out and kill him. They could knock him from the air, or set him afire.

“Graaaatch! Graaaatch!”

A dark shape blackened a patch of stars. The gar thumped to the ground and folded his wings. He cocked his head and gave a purling gurgle.

Richard grabbed Gratch’s fur in his fists.

“Gratch! Listen to me. You have to go away. You can’t stay here any longer. They’re coming to kill you. You must leave.”

Gratch let out a questioning whine that rose in pitch. His ears perked forward. He tried to put his arms around Richard.

Richard pushed him away. “Go! You understand me, I know you do! Go! I want you to go away! They will try to kill you! Go away and never come back!”

Gratch’s ears wilted as he cocked his head to the other side. Richard pounded a fist to the gar’s chest. He pointed north.

“Go away!” He threw his arms out and pointed again. “I want you to go away and never come back!”

Gratch tried to put his arms around Richard again. Richard pushed them away again. Gratch’s ears lay down against his head.

“Grrratch luuug Raaaach aaarg.”

Richard wanted more than anything to hold his friend and tell him that he loved him, too. But he couldn’t. He had to make him go in order to save his life.

“Well I don’t love you! Go away and never come back!”

Gratch looked to the hill Pasha had run down. He looked back at Richard. His green eyes were filling with tears. He reached out for Richard.

Richard shoved him away. Gratch stood with his arms out. Richard remembered the first time he had held the furry beast. He had been so little then. He was so big now. But as he had grown, his friendship, and his love, had grown, too.

He was Richard’s only friend, and only Richard could save him. If Richard really loved him, he had to do this.

“Go away! I don’t want you around anymore! I don’t want you to ever come back! You’re just a big dumb bag of fur! Go away! If you really love me, then you’ll do as I ask, and go away!”

Richard wanted to keep yelling, but the lump in his throat caught the words. He backed away. Gratch seemed to wither in the cool night air. His arms came out again with a pitiful, forlorn wail. He called with a plaintive, keening cry.

Richard took another step back. Gratch took a step toward him. Richard picked up a rock and heaved it at the gar. It bounced off his huge chest.

“Go away!” Richard cried. He threw another rock. “I don’t want you around anymore! Go away! I don’t ever want to see you again!”

Tears ran from the glowing green eyes, over the wrinkles of his cheeks. “Grrratch luuug Raaaach aaarg.”

“If you really love me then you will do this! Go!”

The gar looked again to the hill Pasha had run down, turned, and spread his wings. With a last look over his shoulder, he bounded into the air and flew off into the night.

When he could no longer see the dark shape against the stars, or hear the sweep of wings, Richard crumpled to the ground. His only friend was gone.

“I love you, too, Gratch.”

He cried in racking sobs. “dear spirits, why have you done this to me? He was all I had. I hate you. Every last one of you.”

He was halfway back when it hit him. He froze in his tracks, his mouth hanging open. In the stillness of the night, his shaking fingers reached to his pocket.

The lights of the city flickered in the near distance. Rooftops shimmered in the moonlight. Distant sounds of the city drifted out to him at the edge of the hills.

He pulled out the lock of Kahlan’s hair.

If you really love me, she had said, you will do this. That was what he had told Gratch. In a flash of understanding, it all came to him. The jolt of comprehension took his breath.

Kahlan had not been sending him away, she had been saving his life. She had done for him what he had just done for Gratch.

The pain of having doubted her took him to his knees. It must have broken her heart. How could he have doubted her?

The collar. He had been so afraid of the collar he had been blinded to it. She loved him. She didn’t want to be set free, she wanted only to save his life.