Stranger in a Strange Land

“I did not. And don’t contradict me, Mmm… send for Berquist. I must talk to him at once.”

“Uh, Berquist is out on his trail. He hasn’t reported back yet.”

“Uh? Berquist is probably half way to Zanzibar by now. He’s sold us out, I never did trust that man. I told you when you hired him that—”

“When I hired him?”

“Don’t interrupt—that any man who would take money two ways would take it three ways just as quickly.” She frowned. “Joseph, the Eastern Coalition is behind this. It’s a logical certainty. You can expect a vote-of-confidence move in the Assembly before the day is out.”

“Eli? I don’t see why. Nobody knows about it.”

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake! Everyone will know about it; the Eastern Coalition will see to that. Now keep quiet and let me think.” Douglas shut up and went back to his newspaper. He read that the Los Angeles City County Council had voted to petition the Federation for aid in their smog problems on the grounds the Ministry of Health had failed to provide something or other, it did not matter what—but a sop must be thrown to them as Charlie was going to have a difficult time being re-elected with the Fosterites running their own candidate—he needed Charlie. Lunar Enterprises was off two points at closing, probably, he decided, because of—

“Joseph.”

“Yes, my dear?”

“Our own ‘Man from Mars’ is the one and only; the one the Eastern Coalition will pop up with is a fake. That is how it must be.”

“But, my dear, we can’t make it stick.”

“What do you mean, we can’t? We’re stuck with it, so we’ve got to make it stick.”

“But we can’t. Scientists would spot the substitution at once. I’ve had the devil’s own time keeping them away from him this long.”

“Scientists!”

“But they can, you know.”

“I don’t know anything of the sort. Scientists indeed! Half guess work and half sheet superstition. They ought to be locked up; they ought to be prohibited by law. Joseph, I’ve told you repeatedly the only true science is astrology.”

“Well, I don’t know, my dear. Mind you, I’m not running down astrology—”

“You’d better not! After all it’s done for you.”

“—but I am saying that some of these science professors are pretty sharp. One of them was telling me the other day that there is a star that weighs six thousand times as much as lead. Or was it sixty thousand? Let me see—”

“Bosh! How could they possibly know a thing like that? Keep quiet, Joseph, while I finish this. We admit nothing. Their man is a fake. But in the meantime we make full use of our Special Service squads and grab him back, if possible, before the Eastern Coalition makes its disclosure. If it is necessary to use strong measures and this Smith person gets shot resisting arrest, or something like that, well, it’s too bad, but I for one won’t mourn very long. He’s been a nuisance all along.”

“Agnes! Do you know what you are suggesting?”

“I’m not suggesting anything. People get hurt every day. This matter must be cleared up, Joseph, for everybody. The greatest good of the greatest number, as you are so fond of quoting.”

“But I don’t want to see the lad hurt.”

“Who said anything about hurting him? But you must take firm steps, Joseph; it’s your duty. History will justify you. Which is more important?—to keep things running on an even keel for five billion people, or to go soft and sentimental about one man who isn’t even properly a citizen?”

Douglas didn’t answer. Mrs. Douglas stood up. “Well, I can’t waste the rest of the morning arguing intangibles with you, Joseph; I’ve got to get hold of Madame Vesant at once and have a new horoscope cast for this emergency. But I can tell you this: I didn’t give the best years of my life putting you where you are today just to have you throw it away through lack of backbone. Wipe the egg off your chin.” She turned and left.

The chief executive of the planet remained at the table through two more cups of coffee before he felt up to going to the Council Chamber. Poor old Agnes! So ambitious. He guessed he had been quite a disappointment to her… and no doubt the change of life wasn’t making things any easier for her. Well, at least she was loyal, right to her toes… and we all have our shortcomings; she was probably as sick of him as he—no point in that!

He straightened up. One damn sure thing! He wasn’t going to let them be rough with that Smith lad. He was a nuisance, granted, but he was a nice lad and rather appealing in a helpless, half-witted way. Agnes should have seen how easily he was frightened, then she wouldn’t talk that way. Smith would appeal to the maternal in her.

But as a matter of strict fact, did Agnes have any “maternal” in her? When she set her mouth that way, it was hard to see it. Oh shucks, all women had maternal instincts; science had proved that. Well, hadn’t they?