Stranger in a Strange Land

Douglas sighed. “Very well. It might be pertinent to inquire into what Canons you have played fast and loose with, too—but I haven’t time; I have a government to run. I yield. But don’t expect me to shake hands with this Caxton!”

“As you wish, sir. Now back to the first point. We are held up. I haven’t been able to find Caxton. His office says that he is out of town.”

Douglas laughed. “That’s hardly my problem. You insisted on a privilege—one I find personally offensive. Bring whom you like. But round them up yourself.”

“Reasonable, sir, very reasonable. But would you be willing to do the Man from Mars a favor?”

“Eh? What favor?”

“The talks will not begin until Caxton is located—that is flat and is not subject to argument. But I have not been able to find him… and my client is getting restive. I am merely a private citizen… but you have resources.”

“What do you mean?”

“Some minutes ago I spoke rather disparagingly of the Special Service squadrons—check it off to the not unnatural irk of a man who has just had his front door broken down. But in truth I know that they can be amazingly efficient… and they have the ready cooperation of police forces everywhere, local, state, national, and all Federation departments and bureaus. Mr. Secretary, if you were to call in your S.S. Commandant and tell him that you were anxious to locate a certain man as quickly as was humanly possible—well, sir, it would produce more meaningful activity in the next hour than I myself could hope to produce in a century.”

“Why on Earth should I alert all police forces everywhere to find one scandal-mongering reporter?”

“Not ‘on Earth,’ my dear sir—on Mars. I asked you to regard this as a favor to the Man from Mars.”

“Well… it’s a preposterous request but I’ll go along.” Douglas looked directly at Mike. “As a favor to Smith, only. But I shall expect similar cooperation when we get down to cases.”

“You have my assurance that it will ease the situation enormously.”

“Well, I can’t promise anything. You say the man is missing. If he is, he may have fallen in front of a truck; he may be dead—and I, for one, would not mourn.”

Harshaw looked very grave. “Let us hope not, for all of our sakes.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve tried to point out that sad possibility to my client—but it is like shouting into the wind. He simply won’t listen to the idea.” Harshaw sighed. “A shambles, sir. If we can’t find this Caxton, that is what we will both have on our bands: a shambles.”

“Well, I’ll try. But don’t expect miracles, Doctor.”

“Not I, sir. My client. He has the Martian viewpoint… and he does expect miracles. So let’s pray for one.”

“You’ll hear from me. That’s all I can say.”

Harshaw bowed without getting up. “Your servant, sir.”

As the Secretary General’s image cleared from the screen Jubal sighed and stood up, and at once found Gillian’s arms around his neck.

“Oh, Jubal, you were wonderful!”

“We aren’t out of the woods yet, child.”

“I know. But if anything can save Ben, you’ve just done it.” She kissed him.

“Hey, none of that stuff’! I swore off smooching before you were born. So kindly show respect for my years.” He kissed her carefully and thoroughly. “That’s just to take the taste of Douglas out of my mouth—between kicking him and kissing him I was getting nauseated. Now go smooch Mike instead. He deserves it—for holding still to my damned lies.”

“Oh, I shall!” Jill let go of Harshaw, put her arms around the Man from Mars. “Such wonderful lies, Jubal!” She kissed Mike.

Jubal watched with deep interest as Mike initiated a second section of the kiss himself, performing it very solemnly but not quite as a novice—clumsy, Harshaw decided, but he did not bump noses nor hang back. Harshaw awarded him a B-minus, with an A for effort.

“Son,” he said, “you continue to amaze me. I would have expected that to cause you to curl up in one of your faints.”

“I so did,” Mike answered seriously, without letting go of Jill, “on the first kissing time.”

“Well! Congratulations, Jill. A.C., or D.C.?”

She looked at Harshaw. “Jubal, you’re a tease but I love you anyhow and refuse to let you get my goat. Mike got a little upset once—but no longer, as you can see.”

“Yes,” Mike agreed, “it is a goodness. For water brothers it is a growing-closer. I will show you. Yes?” He let go of Jill.

Jubal hastily put up a palm. “No.”

“No?”

“Don’t be hurt. But you would be disappointed, son. It’s a growing closer for water brothers only if they are young girls and pretty—such as Jill.”

“My brother Jubal, you speak rightly?”

“I speak very rightly. Kiss girls all you want to—it beats the hell out of card games.”

“Beg pardon?”

“It’s a fine way to grow closer… but just with girls. Hmmm…” Jubal looked around the room. “I wonder if that first-time phenomenon would repeat? Dorcas, I want your help in a scientific experiment.”

“Boss, I am not a guinea pig! You go to hell.”