Stranger in a Strange Land

«Captain, if you'll feel easier, I'll join Mike and the girls.»

«Please don't leave. The government is in a stew about that colony. Every man signed away his Larkin rights — to the government. Mike's presence on Mars confused things. I'm no lawyer, but I understood that, if Mike did waive his rights, that would put the administration in the driver's seat when it came to parceling out things of value.»

«Whatthings of value?» demanded Caxton. «Look, Skipper, I'm not running down your achievement, but from all I've heard, Mars isn't valuable real estate for human beings. Or are there assets still classified “drop dead before reading”?»

Van Tromp shook his head. «No, the technical reports are all de-classified. But, Ben, the Moon was a worthless hunk of rock when we got it.»

«Touché,» Caxton admitted. «I wish my grandpappy had bought Lunar Enterprises.» He added, «But Mars is inhabited.»

Van Tromp looked unhappy. «Yes. But — Stinky, you tell him.»

Mahmoud said, «Ben, there is plenty of room on Mars for human colonization and, so far as I was able to find out, the Martians would not interfere. We're flying our flag and claiming extraterritoriality right now. But our status may be like that of one of those ant cities under glass one sees in school rooms. I don't know where we stand.»

Jubal nodded. «Nor I. I had no idea of the situation … except that the government was anxious to get those so-called rights. So I assumed that the government was equally ignorant and went ahead. “Audacity, always audacity”. »

Jubal grinned. «When I was in high school, I won a debate by quoting an argument from the British Colonial Shipping Board. The opposition was unable to refute me — because there never was a “British Colonial Shipping Board”.

«I was equally shameless this morning. The administration wanted Mike's “Larkin rights” and was scared silly that we might make a deal with somebody else. So I used their greed and worry to force that ultimate logical absurdity of their fantastic legal theory, acknowledgment in unmistakable protocol that Mike was a sovereign — and must be treated accordingly!» Jubal looked smug.

«Thereby,» Ben said dryly, «putting yourself up the well-known creek.»

«Ben, Ben,» Jubal said chidingly, «by their own logic they had crowned Mike. Need I point out that, despite the old saw about heads and crowns, it is safer to be publicly a king than a pretender in hiding? Mike's position was much improved by a few bars of music and an old sheet. But it was still not an easy one. Mike was, for the nonce, the acknowledged sovereign of Mars under the legalistic malarky of the Larkin precedent … and empowered to hand out concessions, trading rights, enclaves, ad nauseam. He must either do these things and be subjected to pressures even worse than those attendant on great wealth — or he must abdicate and allow his Larkin rights to devolve on those men now on Mars, i.e., to Douglas.»

Jubal looked pained. «I detested both alternatives. Gentlemen, I could not permit my client to be trapped into such a farce. The Larkin Decision itself had to be nullified with respect to Mars — without giving the High Court a chance to rule.»

Jubal grinned. «So I lied myself blue in the face to create a theory. Sovereign honors had been rendered Mike; the world had seen it. But sovereign honors may be rendered to a sovereign's alter ego, his ambassador. So I asserted that Mike was no cardboard king under a precedent not in point — but the ambassador of the great Martian nation!»

Jubal shrugged. «Sheer bluff. But I was staking my bluff on my belief that others — Douglas, and Kung — would be no more certain of the facts than was I.» Jubal looked around. «I risked that bluff because you three were with us, Mike's water brethren. If you did not challenge me, then Mike must be accepted as Martian ambassador — and the Larkin Decision was dead.»

«I hope so,» Captain van Tromp said soberly, «but I did not take your statements as lies, Jubal.»

«Eh? I was spinning fancy words, extemporizing.»

«No matter. I think you told the truth.» The skipper of the Champion hesitated. «Except that I would not call Mike an ambassador — an invasion force is probably closer.»

Caxton's jaw dropped. Harshaw answered, «In what way, sir?»

Van Tromp said, «I'll amend that. I think he's a scout, reconnoitering for his Martian masters. Don't mistake me — I'm as fond of the boy as you are. But there's no reason for him to be loyal to us — to Earth, I mean.» The Captain frowned. «Everybody assumes that a man found on Mars would jump at the chance to go “home” — but it wasn't that way. Eh, Sven?»

«Mike hated the idea,» agreed Nelson. «We couldn't get close to him; he was afraid. Then the Martians told him to go with us … and he behaved like a soldier carrying out orders that scared him silly.»