Swords Of Lankhmar

"Yes, but about that kitten," Glipkerio persisted, violet wine dribbling down his chin as he took a hasty and tremble-handed swallow. "It was black with blue eyes newly unfilmed. Radomix was trying to stop me — he lived at the palace then — but you sent him away bawling."

"I did indeed," Samanda concurred. "The cotton-hearted brat! And I remember how the kitten screamed and frizzled, and how you cried afterwards because you hadn't him to throw in again. To divert your mind and cheer you, I stripped and whipped an apprentice maid as skinny-tall as yourself and with long blonde braids. That was before you got your thing about hair," — she wiped her mustache — "and had all the girls and boys shaved. I thought it was time you graduated to manlier pleasures, and sure enough you showed your excitement in no uncertain fashion!" And with a whoop of laughter she reached across and thumbed him indelicately.

Excited by this tickling and his thoughts, Lankhmar's overlord stood up cypress-tall-and-black in his toga, though no cypress ever twitched as he did, except perhaps in an earthquake or under most potent witchcraft. "Come," he cried. "Eleven's struck. We've barely time before I must haste me to the Blue Audience Chamber to meet with Hisvin and save the city."

"Right," Samanda affirmed, levering herself up with her brawny forearms pulling at her knees and then pushing the pinching armchair off her large rear. "Which whips was it you'd picked now for the naughty and traitorous minx?"

"None, none," Glipkerio cried with impatient glee. "In the end that well-oiled old black dog-whip hanging; from your belt always seems best. Hurry we, dear Samanda, hurry!"

Reetha shot up in crispy-linened bed as she heard hinges creak. Shaking nightmares from her smooth-shaven head, she fumbled frantically about for the bottle whose draining would bring her protective oblivion.

She put it to her lips, but paused a moment before upending it. The door still hadn't opened and the creaking had been strangely tiny and shrill. Glancing over the edge of the bed, she saw that another door not quite a foot high had opened outward at floor level In the seamless-seeming wood paneling. Through it there stepped swiftly and silently, ducking his head a trifle, a well-formed and leanly muscular little man, carrying in one hand a gray bundle and in the other what seemed to be a long toy sword as naked as himself.

He closed the door behind him, so that it once more seemed not to be there, and gazed about piercingly.

"Gray Mouser!" Reetha yelled, springing from bed and throwing herself down on her knees beside him "You've come back to me!"

He winced, lifting his burdened tiny hands to his ears.

"Reetha," he begged, "don't shout like that again. It blasts my brain." He spoke slowly and as deep-pitched as he could, but to her his voice was shrill and rapid, though intelligible.

"I'm sorry," she whispered contritely, restraining the impulse to pick him up and cuddle him to her bosom.

"You'd better be," he told her brusquely. "Now find something heavy and put it against this door. There's those coming after, whom you wouldn't want to meet. Quick about it, girl!"

She didn't stir from her knees, but eagerly suggested, "Why not work your magic and make yourself big again?"

"I haven't the stuff to work that magic," he told her exasperatedly. "I had a chance at a vial of it and like any other sex-besotted fool didn't think to swipe it. Now jump to it, Reetha!"

Suddenly realizing the strength of her bargaining position, she merely leaned closer to him and smiling archly though lovingly, asked, "With what doll-tiny bitch have you been consorting now? No, you needn't answer that, but before I stir me to help you, you must give me six hairs from your darling head. I have good reason for my request."

The Mouser started to argue insanely with her, then thought better of it and snicked off with Scalpel a small switch of his locks and laid then in her huge, crisscross furrowed, gleaming palm, where they were fine as baby hairs, though slightly longer and darker than most.

She stood up briskly, marched to the night table, and dropped them in Glipkerio's night draught. Then dusting off her hands above the goblet, she looked around. The most suitable object she could see for the Mouser's purpose was the golden casket of unset jewels. She lugged it into place against the small door, taking the Mouser's word as to where the small door exactly was.

"That should hold them for a bit," he said, greedily noting for future reference the rainbow gems bigger than his fists, "but 'twere best you also fetch — "

Dropping to her knees, she asked somewhat wistfully, "Aren't you ever going to be big again?"

"Don't boom the floor! Yes, of course! In an hour or less, if I can trust my tricksy, treacherous wizard. Now, Reetha, while I dress me, please fetch — "